A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had been going out with my ex for 3 years. we broke up late last year because at the time she was moving away to the UK and now I have moved to the UAE for 7 years. We still chat but I still have feelings for her, though I think she has moved on. She was my first proper girlfriend and sexual partner and I'm sometimes afraid i'll never find anyone like her again. However, I noticed when I'm with her that when we are talking, and I am opening up to her, I seem to have an alterior motive and just wan her to feel sorry for me. Is this a normal feeling?Also I feel like I can guilt her back into a relationship with me even though we live so far apart. Am I wasting my time? I'm trying to move on but the past 4 months have been hell, I miss her so much some days. Please help.M
View related questions:
broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, thomas1214  +, writes (20 April 2011):
ya man guilt tripping someone into a relationship is not worth it. they wont go back out with you because they like you but because they feel sorry for you. it wont last and will make you feel worse then you do now.
A
female
reader, DesperateHomemaker  +, writes (20 April 2011):
You know the old song that says "Hold on Loosely, but don't let go" ?Most women are looking for a "Winner", so playing the pity party card won't draw her back. If it worked well, would we put down 70,000 dogs and cats a year? Who's more pathetic and loveable than an abandoned pet, but that's apparently all you've got offer, and the only turn off with that is - it's tough enough for a stable person to survive in this world, but throw on top of him/her a needy person or child and WHAMO life seems impossible. That's cause one person has to carry the other along through their days. The weaker one can't make it without the stronger one. Many men trick women by pretending to be her strong armed supporter, promising to be there for her whatever she needs are. Money, understanding, and women fall for it every time, even becoming sappy and divulging their every need onto one man. Then the man has a hard day and is simply sick of her and all of her whinnings. Happens the most to young couples when toddlers start wrecking the house and demanding constant attention. Soon as the kid starts school, mom thinks great, now I can get a job - but come to find out, paying the babysitter for before and after school care, a Holiday a month, over Christmas and Spring break, all summer long, and un-forseen callamity snow days = working mom makes less than babysitters do. So what's the point in working and worrying all day about how your child is doing with those other snotty kids in that shoddy neighborhood where the babysitter lives.So your only option is, to beef yourself up in every email about how well you are doing and how much you wish you were married cause you really want kids someday, sooner than later but you still love her, so that's what's preventing you from wife shopping. Tell her you're willing to wait however long it takes, but can she give you a clue as to what year she might be ready to settle down?
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (20 April 2011):
 No dont guilt her in to getting back with you, because you will never be happy you will always wonder then if she is only with you because she feels sorry for you and believe me that wont do anything for your ego at all.
If you want to get back with her then tell her how you feel. Stop trying to get her to feel sorry for you instead show her the real you, the person you where when you where with her and ask her does she still have feelings for you just be open and honest with her its the best way.
...............................
|
