A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am older than probably most people that post here but recently I reconnected with someone from my past that I haven't seen in over 20 years and I feel like I have come home in a sense. I cared for him back then and those feelings have not changed, they have intensified. I have found my best friend, my counterpart, my soul mate and I am sure his wife feels the same. We haven't seen each other in 22 years and we have never slept together or kissed but the guilt I feel is killing me. I am not dealing with this loss as an adult, I feel thrust back into the early 80's as a teenager and the grief is overwhelming. I know I need to disappear from his life and let him work his situation out but I have been in love with him for so long, the loss is indescribable....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Believe it or not I have reconnected again with someone from high school and the old feeling came rushing back, back in the 80's when we were in school we were attracted to one another but both very shy and only kidded around joking with one another. Well we have been conversing now with one another for five months..and yes we both are married to others and I was having problems way before he came along only to find out he too is in a unhappy relationship...I can't began to tell you what to do as I believe in love and my child his grown now and his youngest is 17. So I feel your pain and can only say do what feels right and follow your heart. God Bless and good luck
A
female
reader, nvygrl +, writes (24 September 2007):
I know your pain. I am in the military and have met someone last year who I felt a strong connection and I sensed he felt it too but we never got together because he wasn't ready. We parted ways and lost touch when we went to seperate commands and I found him on myspace last night and he has a girlfriend now and my heart sank. It sounds crazy to say this but for the past year I've had this sick fantasy that he would come waltzing back into my life like Sir Lancelot and now I know it won't happen but the feelings are still there and it hurts, it really does, but things happen for a reason. There is a God above who plans out our lives for us and only he knows what's going to happen or why he does things like this. But we can't control the way we feel. I only pray that he is happy with this new person (even though I secretly wish I had the chance to make him happy), and if yours is happy with his wife, there's nothing you can do except move on, which I know isn't easy but it's the best thing for us. Why should we put our lives on hold for men we know we're never going to have when we are very much capable of attracting somebody else who will want us.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 September 2007):
 You are right you need to disappear out of his life and let him work out his situation on his own. If he decides to divorce then he can look you up. In the meantime just try to stay busy and involved with your own life. Each day will get easier and you can fill your life with many joys if you try.
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A
female
reader, michellebeth  +, writes (24 September 2007):
if hes married it aint the best situation but if he feels the same about u then whats the point in hiding the way u feel , ive always tryed to please people in my life and its not getting me anywhere , my advice is to do what makes u happy.
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