A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for 4 years. 3.5 of the 4 years, I have been unhappy. I want to leave him and have tried so many times, but I always keep coming back. Why do I do that? Hes mad all the time about everything. He really believes that everyone should "get theirs" even if it has nothing to do with him. Hes overly opinionated and talks about himself all the time. When im sick, he makes it about him. Now when im sick, I hide it from him to avoid him lashing out at me about it some how. I have taken in my 11 year old brother to live with me... hes such a good kid. But my husband will be nice one second, then call him dummy and stupid. HE says things without thinking on a second by second basis. We dont have good days, we have good moments. He always comes back crying and saying hes sorry.. and he really tries to make it up to me. Then 30 mins later he goes right back. I know deep down his heart is good, he is just not all right up there. Yes weve talked out... 1000 times... yes he and I both went to a councellor.. Ive gone back home for a few weeks to visit family to give us a break.. weve done it all. Nothing is working. Every time I even try to leave, I panic. I dont know why. I have a good job and I can support my brother and myself. Sure we would need to make a few sacrifices, but thats fine. I cannot figure it out. I physically get ill every time I try to do anything about anything. I've never met a more irrational, selfish person... and I stick around. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): I was married to a man like this, too, and I understand how hard it is for you to leave him! But your husband is verbally abusing your brother, and if he does so long enough your brother will start believing he is no good. Depending on how long your brother has lived with you & had to listen to your husband's insults, his self-esteem may already be low.
So, if you can't leave your husband for your sake--please leave him soon for your brother's sake.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, Ive tried to get as much help as I could... but everyone has the same answer... just leave him. Well, if it was that easy, I would have done so. At this point, no I am not afraid of being alone. I actually am looking forward to being alone for a little while when I can finally make the leap. Thank you for your advice.
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A
male
reader, sam44  +, writes (21 January 2011):
Your husband needs to find peace with himself... I know people like him. The unfortunate truth is that he will never change until reality slaps him in the face... some people even die fighting themselves. Let's hope he will take all steps possible to change, seek God, therapy etc. You need to leave him so he can change. Be strong its not easy... if you keep tolerating him... you are doomed for life.PS. Don't feel bad for him, justify his mistakes, try to change him, look at things you can't see. He should work hard himself to change. Your day is today.
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