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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 19 years old and have a boyfriend, but have never had an orgasm. We have a very sexual relationship, but have never technically had sex. My problem is this: I am infrequently aroused by him. Most often, I am aroused by the very early stages of foreplay, very soft touches at my neck and stomach and hips. But as soon as he begins to touch me more forcefully, between my legs, I actually become much less aroused. I am embarrased because I am never very wet for him. Is this normal? Are there any ways to increase my sexual arousal?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): You are perfectly normal, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I would, however, strongly advise you to have a talk with your bf about this. I know it is embarrassing, but nothing else will help you but the both of you taking it really slow when making out and for him to try to arouse you as much as possible with soft touches until you actually want him to be more forceful and tell him so.
I had the same problem as you do and was only able to finally tell a bf in my thirties - and that's the time when I actually started enjoying sex. That is a complete waste of good years and lousy sex. I hope you don't waste as much time as I did. The result is worth the embarrassment.
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