A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 25 years old (nearly 26) and I've never had a girlfriend at all. Is there something wrong with me? I have been on dating sites (got rejected on those), I get rejected by women a lot (I never said anything nasty, disrespectful and so on to anyone), I see overweight guys, unattractive guys or a combination of the two with really hot girlfriends/wives, out of all the members of the family under 30 I'm the only one who is single and never had a relationship. So judging by that you can understand that I could get depressed eventually, I feel like there must be something wrong with me not to mention the fact I can't get a job either (rejected by employers didn't help matters) so as a result now I think my confidence and self esteem is now pretty gone.Sorry about this, I feel like I can't talk to my friends about this either and I needed to get this off my chest. Anyone got advise on how I can turn this around and get a girlfriend? Thank you.
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confidence, depressed, get a girlfriend, never had a girlfriend, overweight, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, L? +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Well first of all, there is definitely nothing wrong with you and you've no need to apologise for getting it off your chest:) There will be so many other guys, and women for that matter, in the same position as you.. It just may not seem that way when so many around you are in relationships.
Try not to let the rejection bring you down because at the end of the day, anyone who doesn't want to be with you, doesn't deserve to be with you. When you say you get rejected a lot, do you mean after you approach women? Again if they're all judging you by face value, they're not worth your time either.
I believe that you would never say anything nasty or disrespectful, but maybe that's not the issue. I understand that you would really like a relationship but make sure you're not coming off too strong. It's ok to show interest, but if you seem desperate for a relationship it could put some women off. Sometimes the best relationships come in time after getting to know someone very well.
I can relate with the job situation and it knocked my confidence too, but i tried to be more positive and get myself out there. I ended up getting an offer eventually, a lot can change within a few months:)
Anyway, I think that's all you need to do too, pick yourself back up and don't let it knock you down anymore. To me confidence is anyone's most attractive feature, if you exude it, people will notice ! Try to have a more positive outlook from now, that will definitely start turning things around - in all aspects of your life. Just go out, socialize and meet new people, you can still have fun without the aim of finding a girlfriend - she might find you instead :) good luck xo
A
male
reader, ruskyline  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 no of course not! im 21 and i never had a serious relationship either.
my best bet is you are a shy person. usually people who are comfortable talking to women and carrying a conversation, will eventually find one.
i started reading this book called THE STYLELIFE CHALLENGE by Neil Strauss. i highly recommend to go and download it from piratebay or something.its a torrent.
anyway, try approaching people, from woman to man, old young and just have random conversation with them till you feel comfortable. good luck!
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A
female
reader, CottonCandy19  +, writes (6 September 2010):
Girls that are not shallow don't just go for guys who are rich and handsome. Usually a girl looks for someone who they can trust and someone who can make them smile. Maybe not getting a job might be your problem because it wudn't look gud if u din have a job or an education. Girls nowadays don't just want some guy that can make them smile only, they want someone who has the money to support them, the power to cheer them up and someone handsome wud be a bonus. So my advice to you, don't go on the crappy dating website, go meet someone. Talk to them and eventually u'll find your type of girl. U'll know it's her when she understands you and laughs at all your jokes eventhough they're not that funny. =)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 What are the reasons you are given when you can not get a job, and when you are rejected by women?
Do you have any education? Do you consider yourself a good catch for women? Do you have money (although you do not have a career) do you have hobbies, are you funny, can you make people smile? Women in your age group look for a lot more than just a good looking guy. If you have no job that will be seen as unattractive.
Are there any obvious reasons for why you get rejected?
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