A
female
age
30-35,
*atePerry
writes:Basically my boyfriend and i have been together for several years on and off. He left for New Zealand in october and i was just starting my first year at university. I'm 18 hes 22, and he has been away for 4 months and he is back in 2 months. We were amazing before he left i loved him to bits i never thought that i would feel any different. However everything has changed completely, uni has been amazing i love going out with my uni pals and my boyfriend hasn't been on my mind as much recently :-/.I have fallen for a guy on my course which has put me in a very bad situation. My boyfriend misses me and wants everything to be ok when he gets back and go back to normal, I have said to him several times i want a break to have fun and enjoy myself i cant wait around and ruin one of the best years of my life. He understood at first but now hes on my case all the time texting me telling me he loves me and misses me loads. Im finding it hard to cope cause i don't know how i will feel when he gets back and if i will love him again when he returns. I cant say i don't still have feelings for him but this new guy treats me like a princess and my boyfriend and me have gone through so much crap in the past i feel i want to move on and start a new chapter,
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a break, move on, text, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KatePerry +, writes (13 January 2012):
KatePerry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk guys i have decided that i do actually like this other guy and i dont feel the same for the guy i was going out with. i just dont know how to say i dont want a relationship with him anymore when he comes back :-/ hes so excited to see me but i dont feel the same
HELP! :(
A
female
reader, KatePerry +, writes (9 January 2012):
KatePerry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really apprectiate your answers and have took the time to reply, you all have very good advice, i just hope i can follow them through. I have told my boyfriend i wont make any decision until i see him face to face when he gets back its only fair i wouldnt like it if i was in another counrty and he broke up with me over phone or text. Its really difficult cause we did have a good relationshsip in 2011 and before i started uni i couldnt think of anyone else i'd rather be with so i feel when he comes back i'll be in such a state if i feel that i actually do love him but still have feelings for the other guy. Nobody can really say what i can do its up to me i suppose but been given different views is helpful
Thanks guys.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 January 2012):
Break it off with your boyfriend, go have fun. Enjoy your life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 You are ONLY 18, you have to live you life. Does he really expect that you sit on your hands while he is out thee doing his thing?
I think you need to figure out what you want and who you want. And stick with it.
You said it yourself, you and your BF have been on & off for years, no relationship lasts if you keep having to take breaks. Breaks (IMHO) is a clue that something isn't working in the first place.
A relationship is like a marathon, not a sprint. You just keep on going. When there are problems you face them and work them out. If they are too great maybe they are an indicator that you weren't a good match long term.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (8 January 2012):
 Tell your boyfriend to stop texting you and give you some space. You can't make any decisions about staying together with you feeling like he's suffocating you. You have feelings for him, but you obviously have a desire to live your life and have fun and there's nothing wrong with that. But before you decide to break up with him, think of all the pros and cons of the relationship and decide if it's worth staying with him. If there's more pros, but you still don't feel that desire to stay with him, then it's best that you move on. Call him and let him know that your feelings in this are just as serious as well and that you mean it when you say you want to move on. Don't let him make you feel guilty or try to stay because you shouldn't have to. Then delete his info and tell him not to contact you again. But if you're going to do this, then make sure that moving on is what you really want to do.
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