A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So this is a bit of a new thing for me. I don't normally go asking for advice, but I defiantly feel like I need some help on this one. So here goesThere's this girl I went to high school with. We liked each other for years but never really did anything about it. I remember all our friends knew we liked each other and we always hung out together and would go to the same parties together. Even went to school prom together but not as an "official" couple. Looking back it was a kind of "will they wont they" situation. We only ever kissed once. I guess I was just too young and dumb at the time.We lost contact after leaving high school, and I hadn't really thought much about her in the years since. Now, one night a few months ago she suddenly popped up in my facebook chat and said Hi. We ended up chatting for several hours that night and then several more hours the following night where she gave me her number.We have both grown up and changed a lot since high school. We started texting and chatting pretty much every day.We live in separate cities about 4 hours apart and I don't have a car, so seeing her was tricky at best. But we did manage to meet up a few times she spent the night once, nothing happened though, she was way too drunk and passed out. Yah I know that sucks lol. We also spend a day together at a local music festival and we briefly saw each other over new years.Things seemed to be going fairly well, but I wanted to see her more often (even if I had to take a 4 hour bus ride) so I could actually make a move on her because by this point I was pretty sure she liked me. She also recently told me that she is going to be moving to my city in 2 months time. So I was very excited about that.Now this is when I think things started to fall apart. A friend of mine started giving me unwanted relationship advice. Now this friend has never had a girlfriend and has just read a book on "How to pick up chicks" and now he thinks hes "The Love Guru". He started giving me advice all the time through email, facebook, even msn and kept telling me I'm doing everything wrong and tell me what he thinks I "should" be doing. I really felt like he was trying to invade my personal life.I didn't want to listen to this guy but he made me start doubting myself and everything I was doing with this girl and I ended up not doing what I wanted to.This has been going on for the last month and in the last 2 weeks I could feel her slipping away. We were no longer texting or chatting every day.Now just 2 days ago she announced on facebook that she is in a relationship with another guy! and my heart sank like a stone.I don't blame my bad advice friend, I just blame myself for letting this happen. I had plenty of opportunities that I missed because I was doubting myself and I could of made much more of an effort to go and see her, even if it meant taking the bus. The times we were together were great, and I did feeling there was something there. I just let too much time slip by without doing anything.So my question simply is What now?I don't what to know what I should of done. I already know that. I just want to know what I should do now.I would still like to continue our friendship and her moving to my city would really be easier (I don't think I handled the long distance so well)But I don't feel comfortable trying to steal her from this new guy. I could just cut all contact and try to forget about her, but I don't really want that.And I defiantly don't want to end up in a situation where I'm just waiting for her to be single again.Anyway thanks for listening to my problemI hope you guys can shed some light on what I should do next.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThought I might just give a bit of a follow up on this problem I had back in March.
Me and this girl are getting along just fine. We are not together but are pretty good friends. We meet up at least once a week for lunch and we keep in good contact via email , text and facebook.
She's not my girlfriend and probably never will be but I do enjoy our friendship, I know it sounds lame but I do. I've moved past it now.
I've actually met someone new who I think is much much better than this girl. So I'm happy to still be friends with her.
It all ended well.
A
female
reader, dietcoke.1  +, writes (20 March 2011):
You should keep in contact with her ! but not so much contact you get to the point when she doesn't text you that day you are worried. Just casually occasionally meeting us just so you don't loose contact all together because at the end of the day you were friends . But make sure you go out and meet new people and don't depend on her breaking up with her bf soon. If its meant to happen it will happen don't worry! You will be fineGood luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso I don't think this really matters but I accidentally set the wrong year for my age. It was very late at night when I did this.
My age should actually be 20 -25 not 30 - 35
I don't think it really matters though lol
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