A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been together for over 1 year. Everything was great. We have done and experienced soo much together. He always told me he loved and cared for me. Last Wednesday he broke up with me.. he told me that at this stage in his life he needs to focus on himself and wants to be alone. He said he doesnt feel he's ready for a relationship. He said he's going to go work for his brother's company which pays more than where he's at now and possibly be moving to a different city (not too far from me). He feels as if he's not going anywhere in his life. Before we first ever became a couple he wanted to be single so he could do his thing and get his situation together. He said our relationship all happened so fast. Anyway, he broke up with me last week and has told me since, that he still loves and cares for me a lot. He says he's not interested or looking for girls and says he doesn't want to love anyone else and only wants to be with me, BUT he doesn't want the worry of a relationship. He says he still wants to hang out and have fun w me. He has said once he gets settled, 'more or less' we will get back together, and I know I shouldn't hold my breath on it.The real reason I am posting this is cause I told him I would wait for him to get straight. Simply cause I feel our love is too strong to simply walk away and I feel he does care for me like he said. Anyways he said that he does and doesn't mind if I wait for him. He doesn't mind cause he doesn't want me to feel like I have to keep myself exclusive and if I chose to move on, he'd respect that. He also said he does mind cause he doesn't want me to do anything.. but again, he can't stop me. Whenever I tell him I'll remain exclusive or tell him how I feel he appears happy and tells me he's happy I feel that way, and he's glad I'm not like other girls who would probably seek revenge...To me its all flip flop.. It's confusing to me and I feel really depressed... in fact I suffer from depression but it only comes out when things like this happen. What do you get from all this? Please serious answers only... as I'm not feeling well.
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male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 This situation sucks, and I know it hurts.
If there were no obvious problems in your relationship, do you know if your friend has a bi-polar disorder or has been depressed? both these could lead to a sudden change.
He may be scared of making a commitment because he thinks there is someone else for him.
If he does love you then give him some time, he will come back. If nothing has happned within about 6 months then it may be time to move on and find someone who appreciates you.
Take care of yourself, give yourself some "me" time.
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