A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey this is quite long, you should read it because it is quite unbelievable really how stupid i am and how this relationship worked out.Hey, I care (to be honest i think I am in love with her) about this girl a great deal and we were really close, she was my best freind and a relationship developed, she told me she could be herself around me, we would talk all day sometimes and spend days together just holding each other but i made mistakes. She told me before while we were freinds that had been sexually abused by her father when she was a child, this obviously shocked me a little when she told, it explained a couple of things and I really took it as a privilige and an honur that she confided this in me (for the record her family know and a couple of her freinds too, who i have no contact with, i wasnt the first person she told). Anyway previously before she met me she had been in a relationship for 4 years I was really stupid and insecure and I lied to her and told I wasnt a virgin when I was, becuase im insecure about it and i didnt want to look stupid (i know, i know it was dumb, i was just scared of her judgeing me). We got emotionally closer and slowly began to get into a relationship, she then told me hat she was a virgin and had never had sex with her previous boy freind but had done stuff(turns out they had breif sex, she even had to take the morning after pill once), me being a fool still didnt tell her that i was a virgin, anyway we got even closer and one night we fooled around a bit in bed (just cuddling and kissing) and she found out I had lied to her, she took it real bad, she wouldnt let me explain and told me that i was using her and lots of other hurtful things, she wouldnt let me explain at all, she didnt speak to me for three weeks. I was very hurt and upset and i tryed texting her, she told me (through texts) that i had runined her life and what i did was inexcusable, she told me she hated me and that things could never be the same between us again. I was really heartbroken and guilty, i felt like i had let her down, after holding everything for 2 weeks I made a stupid mistake and confided in my flatmate (she could tell something was up) about how i had let her down and how she had been abused. Itwas an error and I cant believe i did it.Anyway eventually the girl came back, one night she rang me and we got talkign again, she was still pretty angry with me but i got a chance to explain myself properly and she forgave me, anyway things went back to normal real quick and we were really close again having so much fun, me and this girl are so close, i find it difficult to lie to her and i really do not like doing it so i thought i had to be honest (i really didnt want to do it) so i told her that i had confided in my flatmate, she was not happy (for good reason).So i was heartbroken again and this time I thought that was it, again she was ignoring me and i thought after last time she is never going to come back , it all got too much (i had other stresses in my life aswell, new really stressful job, momey worrys) and I turned to my family for support and advice, once again i betrayed her trust (she has never met my family, and they live far away so she will never have to see them if she doesnt want to), I just felt so lost at the time and just needed them to understand why i was down and what was bothering me (i know i am a stupid person). Anyway to my surprise she came back after a week and a half, she forgave me! I was so happy! but then worried that i had told me family. So once agian after a week i was honest. Now as you can imagine she has gone, this time I reckon for good. You may think otherwise but i really d care for this girl, i think the world of her and would anything for her, we have such a strong connection, i just made stupid mistakes and made bad judgements, through all this I never meant to hurt her once. Do you honestly thing there is anychance she might come back again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to mention that throughout our relationship she was going through family problems which put a strain on things, she would still have contact with her father which bothered her and the family. It was and still is a very worrying situation, i always supported her through all this, after i made my first mistake and let her down, i dont know i just fell apart and made stupid mistakes
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