A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi hope i can get some other peoples perspective on this ,i have been going out with my girlfriend for 1 year most of the time things are brillant we spend a lot of time together have a lot of fun ,have a lot in common and love each others company, however recently she went away for a couple of days with here friends to a festival ps she asked if she could go without me i said no prob ,a couple of weeks later we were invited over to my friends place for a meal ,but she refused to come turns out some guy they meet at where they were staying at festival was having his birthday party at a fancy restaurant in town and invited the girls along that night ,she said we could go to my friends any wk end ,i was not happy but let it go ,meet her after wk end then she tells me this guy put out an open invitation to the girls to go on day trip up the country,she told me she was going the {other girls were not} i objected then she got angry and said she should not need my permission to go ! this problem has arose before putting here self out to make male friends ,i trust her but find this very disrespectful to our relastionship ,dont know what to do now Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (28 December 2007):
Hmmmm, I found myself here once. It is a difficult situation; you are unhappy about a situation and if you object, she thinks you don't trust her. Worse yet, in my experience, people are usually split right down the middle as far as "which person is in the right" is considered.
For myself (and only speaking from my own experience) I see why she would be annoyed at you, but I think it is a little inconsiderate of her to not see reasons why you would be unhappy about her going, alone no less. I have no doubts that you trust her, but it is HIM who you do not trust, correct? In which case, try to explain this to her. You don't really know the man, which is why you are hesitant to let her go. Perhaps you could go with her? This man should have no reason to be against this, seeing as you and your girlfriend are in a relationship, in which case, he should not be interested in having anything with your girlfriend, out of respect for the both of you.
So yes, I would suggest that you go along with her if possible. If this cannot happen, try to explain how you feel to your girlfriend. Tell her that you don't want her to feel like you don't trust her, and explain your reason for being hasty about the idea. If she has respect for you as a boyfriend, she should see your point, and find a situation that the two of you are happy with.
This is a very difficult topic for the person in the problem, and for those of us trying to give the answers. I hope this helped, and I wish you the best of luck.
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