A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im writing this because I'm so tired of being body shamed all of the time. Growing up I was a size 8, but then I left school, started a new career, had a baby and the weight creeped on. At my heaviest I went up to 15 stone size 16 which is very overweight for my 5 ft 7 height. So I realised I needed to change, I started running, eating healthy, I have now got down to 11 stone, a size 12 which I'm very proud of myself but I'm still being body shamed even now. I've had men call me fatty (every fat name under the sun) at my size now. I went shopping recently and some man called me an awful name, so much that I went home and cried. I felt like maybe I need to starve myself because I'm still not good enough in other people's eyes. I've come along way to get here, I still have a way to go yet but I don't understand how society can be so ugly. I'm all for praising people, I could never shame anyone on their weight fat or thin. I'm a size 12 now and since being called that name I've found myself feeling very self conscious and starting to hate what I see in the mirror again and I don't feel confident. How do I get out of thinking bad about myself? Now I can see why so many young girls develop eating disorders because of people like this body shaming them, I just don't want it to turn into a disorder because lately it's getting to me
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (9 September 2016):
The only shameful thing here is....You listening to foolish people.
Get this....You can lose weight and look good...but a stupid person will always be stupid, unless they are willing to learn sense.
You were wise enough to see that you needed to make a change, and.. you did it. BOOMBASTIC!!!
You made the effort to change yourself, for yourself...Yet you let people who refuse to change themselves, influence your thoughts.
I am allergic to stupid people and what they have to say....You should be the same.
There are no pills or diet to cure foolish people.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2016): These ridiculous men that speak derogatively of a woman are generally trying to get your attention ,but they know you wont respond to their average chatup line so they pull a crude remark out of themselves!Roughly translated it tends to mean "My goodness you have great tits and a butt to die for! But i am a dull dreary person without intellect!Its not myfault that my d*ck started to rise! Its your fault and if i try to chat you up you will look down on me because there is no way you are going to be the type of girl to give me a quickie if i gave you £20 and asked for a blowjob! Yioiou look like you would call the police on me!"So next time youhate your body just think how much their poor mums must grieve to see what an extraordinary piece of lowlife they created and vow to yourself that your sons will have decent manners.
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A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (9 September 2016):
 I am almost exactly your current size (5'8, 150 lbs - none of it breasts btw, I'm an AA cup) and have been for most of my adult life. I spent a lot of my early twenties trying to drop the weight I gained after high school, when I was running constantly and barely eating, but with time and life experience I now realize I'm healthier today than I ever was 25 pounds ago. Sure, my jean size was a tiny number, but I was also anemic from not eating a balanced diet and my period came once every few months if it came at all. Not healthy! Some women my height can get to that weight with no physiological consequences, but I'm not one of them. So part one of truly accepting myself as opposed to constantly thinking that I'd be so much more attractive if I could only (x, y, z) was realizing that what I longed for every time I'd look in the mirror was literally unhealthy for the frame that nature gave me.
Part two was sitting back and looking critically at what I have been able to accomplish in this body. It's tough to share specifics but not potentially identifying details, so I will say only that I hold a job in emergency services (that I competed physically with men to qualify for) and also hiked upwards of 2,000 miles across my country in four and a half months a few summers ago. And guess what, I still had a bounty of cellulite on my legs when I was done :) That trip for me was the turning point in loving my body, but I'm sorry that's what it took - that I didn't manage to truly appreciate myself until then, when the same body that carried me all those miles without giving up has been awesome and *mine* all along while I have been shallowly failing to appreciate it simply because I imagine others to be constantly doing the same. Who cares if some random guy at the mall doesn't want to look any farther than my flat chest or absence of a thigh gap? If anything, I've learned to be thankful that some people are so blatantly shallow because lord knows I wouldn't want to date someone like that or waste any of my time on this earth crushing on him :P Life is way too short to feel awful about myself because someone else thinks beauty only goes skin deep. It makes me so sad that so many gorgeous women of all sizes struggle, as I did, with the feeling that we aren't good enough, that the number on a scale somehow makes us less worthy human beings.
So, congratulations on your progress! By all means continue losing weight if it looks and feels healthy for you, but recognize too that you're strong, beautiful, and deserving of love and respect exactly where you are right now - just as you were at size 16. Don't give the time of day to anyone who feels it's somehow their place to tell you otherwise.
Hope this helps. Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 September 2016):
 Words really hurt, and there's no getting away from people who are hurtful for no other reason than they're ugly inside. It's funny - I was just thinking today that people are cruel even to those who are improving themselves.
Just today at the gym, I was finishing my core exercises when I saw a girl who was overweight (she wasn't morbidly obese! She looked about 60lbs overweight) being coached on some of the machines, as she was new, and my first thought was "That's awesome! You go! You're gonna love the new you!", and I looked across the room and saw two girls early 20's, and I swear they were snickering at this other girl who was trying so hard and being naturally clumsy. I wasn't 100% sure, so I didn't accost them directly, but I shot them a massive dirty look and made eye contact, and they seemed to get the message because they got to their workout and stopped being stupid.
My point is - YOU need to feel good about YOU! You've lost a great deal of weight and no amount of hurtful words can take that from you. YOU can hold your head high and smile because you've done more than they ever can hope to.
Don't lose sight as to WHY you're getting healthy. You want a new life, to look and feel better. And you're on your way! These guys who say horrible things are drowning in their ale, doing nothing with themselves. The ground is fertilized with losers as those who extend themselves to improve run over their compost.
Fat shaming is like a telephone connection - there's a call, and then a reception of that call. You need to not receive the fat shaming. They don't know where you've been and where you are going. All you need to know is that at the rate you're going, next year, they'll be the ones pathetically failing at trying to ask you out on a date.
Stay kind, stay focused, and you'll get there! You've already done the hard part. Your muscles have gotten stronger. Look to your progress!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 September 2016):
 By accepting that you WERE fat but that you took steps to get healthy.
MEN (and women) who slut-shame and body-shame do it because they themselves feel like crap about themselves. It's sad, but true.
So keep that knowledge with you. Were these people strangers I presume? And if so... you NEED to grow a thicker skin and think to yourself "who the F cares what that piece of garbage thinks of me!?" And a retort most people can't handle is.. "I might have BEEN fat, but I'm getting back is shape.. you on the other hand, well... STUPID is forever." or a simple "who cares what you think?!"
IT IS OK for you to stand up for yourself or... ignore them.
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