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male
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anonymous
writes: I a 48 years old male. I have been married for 25 years. But my marriage is in crises,because I lost my sexual self. I m really ashamed,but I dont know what to do.I lose my erections right when I enter,also I have zero sexual desire. I went to medical checkup.,everything was fine.. Hormones are ,k,and no medical problems. My doctor sent me to psychiatrist,but even Im not depressed, he tried antidepressant,what didn't work. I stopped it long time ago.Now the doctor says ,I must have some psychological problem and I need to see a therapist.Because ,I can't find out myself what is this. Because clearly ,its rare to have no desire at all, and have no erection without medical reason. Now my question is ,how therapy can help on this? Is there anybody ,who went trough this?
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 I wouldn't resort to cannabis immediately. Although it does have proven health benefits to some, it has destroyed the mental health of others. Research the link between cannibis and psychosis. I wouldn't reccomend using cannibis for depression either. If anything it will make it worse in the long run. Cannibis zaps you energy, vitality and motivation. Sure it can be uplifting and fun at the time, but it is not a long term cure. Trust me, I've been there.
I do agree though with the other comments about yoga and meditation. Yoga can do amazing things for your overall wellbeing. It starts by feeling good in your body and spreads to your mind and emotions. I'm pretty sure doing that or some other physical exercise will help. Try not to focus on your lack of sex drive. Try to focus on your self, your needs, and wellbeing. Once you are happy in yourself, I'm sure you will get your mojo back.
Also talking to a therapist might help. They might be able to help you realise something that you have been avoiding admitting to yourself, which might be the cause of your lack of desire.
Don't feel ashamed. This can happen to anyone at any time in their life. With perseverance and patience you can get through it. You have admitted that this is a problem and this is the first step towards solving it. Speak to your wife about what you are going through. I'm sure she knows you well and will be there to support you, so long as you are open about this issue, so she doesn't feel it is her fault.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, SceneXaddicted  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 If you want my personal thought, I think medical cannabis will help. Call me crazy, but the logic is there. It may make it hard to get an erection if you are too medicated, however it will help your mind relax. From a doctors point they see no physical reason for this, so the only other thing that it could be is mental, causing this. There is probably too many "free radical" thoughts in your head. Think of it like this, depression is like a giant eclipse. Its a darkness that takes over our thoughts, and emotions and even our physical well being. Those signs are obvious. What happens when we just have tons of little thoughts? It looks more like a screen. Its easy to see around the little problems and thoughts every day and less obvious to the person because they wont "feel depressed". Anything in life can be conquered by mental power. There are studies that prove it, and a more extreme matter is Randy Pausch and his book THE LAST LECTURE. I would try yoga (don't laugh until you try it), Smells that make you feel happy, go to the store and smell a thousand different candles until you find the one that just makes a smile break across your face. Rather it is the smell of apples that remind you of the good old days, or the smell of a new car. Also I would suggest meditation and the process of clearing the mind. Vitamins could help take toxins out of your body that can cause you to feel sluggish and unmotivated. There are Prolonging creams that could help, and certain restriction toys that could also help. I think you should just give them a try, don't make it something you dread like a chore, think of it as a rediscover of yourself. And if you do get medical cannabis from your doctor, If legal in your state, It can become an entire spiritual, emotional and physical experience.
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