A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, I just broke up with my four years bf, I was in love with this man but it took me a lot of time to really know that he can't give me what I need from this relationship, he only cared about himself...ok, it's gone now and I really need some help getting over this image I have of men because I keep running away from every opportunity of starting something new with new people, it's been one month now since the breakup and I can't trust men; I find myself looking for their weak points instead of their good aspects...how can I overcome this fear? please help
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 June 2010):
 One month is not enough time. You need to heal from the breakup first. A sign that you are still hurting and needing to heal is that you have no trust in men. This is your heart and mind telling you you are not ready for a new relationship yet! When you are ready you will start to trust men again.
A
female
reader, Lucy79  +, writes (26 June 2010):
If you were with this guy for 4 years do not be suprised it will take a little longer then 1 month to ´get over it´.
He simply still is in your system, this is nothing weird, youre still processing the old situation and getting used to the new one.
The only thing that will help is time, and give yourself all the time you need, you are not on a schedule here.
I would really advise you to not start looking for a new realtionship from a negative mindframe, who knows what awesome guy youre going to meet and you blow him off cause you only see his flaws.
Give yourself some time, seeing only the negative in people might just be a sign that you are not ready yet to commit again, sort of a self defense system.
Spend time with people you already know and trust and just take it day by day, once your heart is healed it will open up again :)
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A
female
reader, amfit15 +, writes (26 June 2010):
i know what you mean.
i was really idiotic ok i fell in love. i knew the guy for bout 4 weeks then we started dating he was older, im 15 he is 17 i thought we would be together for ever i dont mean that in a corney way no i honestly thought we would. like university together evrything i saw no reson not to make him my first and so i did.
he dumped me.
we had been together a while done all things and he came up mine one weekend and we spent all of the time together and on the saterday once agen only my 3rd time we did it and then sunday night he text me saying its over.
im so heart broken im not eating or sleeping properly i know ive messed up a few exams and im not dealing with it very well. ive done and doing all i can but you should know youre not alone. i havent touched anyone or let them touch me i mean mates hug me as well i just cant face it. i hope it gets better for you and me. good luck and try and stay possitive have you tried having fun not looking for "the one" you never no he may just come along.
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