A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i were married for 5 years. he never got his ged or drivers lic. i was injured and out of work for 6 years. since then i've returned to work and began college. he sleeps all day and watches porn all night. i kicked him out after another fight where he cut me down to nothing. there was a lot of emotional abuse. since leaving he has been crying and begging to come home. i don't know what to do. i don't really miss him. but i once loved him and he's hurting. what do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): Im in the same sit. 5 years of being put down, taken for granted and controlled. And now that I have finally made a decision I believe to be good for myself... all the sudden things will change and everything will be ok again... Not the case cause really in my heart I know that things were never ok... I still talk to him and such but it's only been a few days... I feel like the bad guy (i know im not) I also feel guilty that he is hurting but you know what he never cared when I was hurting.. He was never there emotionally to support me and I know it will be hard because I do care about him and ultimately do want good things for him but I know that I'm worth more and it's nice to feel that... Life is not good or bad luck... Its a series of choices and most of the time the hardest choice is the right one... I don't know if this has helped but It's just a little of my story.
-sarah
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 December 2009):
You feel bad because that's how much he has been able to manipulate you. This is what controlling men do. Sadly, they're good at it. He doesn't feel your pain at all, it's an act. He just wants to get back into your house so he can control you again, watch porn again, hurt you again. Please le him go, or never be happy again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionty everyone but can someone explain to me why i'm the one who feels like the bad guy and crap? i wanted him to know the pain i felt and now that he does i feel awful. i don't understand it. we talked tonight and i offered to be roomates till tax time. he said no, but he doesn't have any place to go. i'm sorry to bother everyone with this just very very confused.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2009):
 Think of it this way, you're finally giving him the reason to get on with his life. You can stop being his mother now, he's too old to be a juvenile delinquent, it's time he grew up.
Stay strong. This will be better for the both of you in the long run.
If he gets help, gets himself straightened out and gets a plan for his life, then maybe you can reconsider the separation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): He deserves to be hurting if he emotionally abused you and behaves like a complete loser. Let him stew in his own pot, sometimes people don't want to change themselves until they hit rock bottom and run out of options.
Don't enable him by letting him come back and lie on the couch and watch porn.
Stick with your original decision, don't second guess yourself, you wasted 5 years on this guy, the only thing worse would be wasting 5 years and one day more!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 December 2009):
Let him go. He wants you back so he can abuse you, lie on the sofa and watch porn again. He doesn't want you. Be brave and let him go, and focus on your own life now.
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