A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:I really like a girl - My heart is saying yes, but my head is saying no.I've just left University. In my final year I had a girlfriend for 4 1/2 months. We were very good together and we both really enjoyed our time together. We broke up in February because she was a first year and didn't want me to make adjustments in my life (i.e. move to the town where we studied) just so we could be together.In the last couple of months of uni I got to know one of the girls who lived upstairs in my students accommodation. We started out as just friends, but soon an attraction was evident and then about a months ago a romance began to bloom. Now, we both knew I was leaving, and knowing that leaving had already caused me a great deal of pain I was quite protective of myself... but she's incredible. She is a gorgeous girl and is incredibly sweet and thoughtful. When I left town she got me a huge leaving card contain a long message about how highly she rated me as a person and she bought me a necklace with an engraved message reminding me to always believe in myself (On night I expressed doubts about my path in life and since then she has always told me to believe in myself).So, I am literally JUST out of university and starting my adult life. My future plans consist in getting more hours at my part-time job and getting some money in the bank. But a big part of me wants to be with her. I'm not saying we were perfect for each other, but we got on very well indeed and we obviously have feelings for one another. I just don't know what to do! Do I concentrate on my future by living with my parents for a while and undoing the damage to my bank, or is it worth pursuing this wonderful girl who I've only gotten to know in the past 2 months but care for greatly?Some outside perspective would be great! Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): Long distance relationship?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): The logical part of me says, one should never put one's life on hold for other people. You've got a career to start, money to make, and debts to pay down. Chasing after the girl will throw a wrench in things.The heart in me says, how many times do you meet someone who makes you giddy with happiness? This girl could be the bride beside you in five years, or a distant memory in light of a lovelier, more wonderful girl. You'll never know unless you try.If you feel so strongly for her, follow your heart. See if you can find a job where she is, work your plans around her. Then hope for the best. If it works out, you will have found the person people spend lifetimes looking for. If not, you wont ever wonder "what if?"
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A
female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 If you people were just doing fine,I will suggest you to keep in touch with her, but definitely will not ask you to damage your finances, because it seems that you want to be emotionally attached with this girl.Let her know what you feel for her and what you think of you two.If this girl too wants that too, she will be with you no matter how far the distance is. You are in a critical phase (i.e.,entering the adult life) you have to get a way to equip yourself and to plan your life.I think that's your prime responsibility, get some money in the Bank. Once you get that out of the way you can go where you want, but it would be difficult if the focus gets diverted at this phase, and it may cost you with lots of wasted of time.Best wishes
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