A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right i basically need to know what i should do. I just found out i'm pregnant last week, i knew i was for a couple of weeks anyway so it didn't come as a HUGE surprise. I'm almost 8 weeks in. I'm happy at my little surprise bambino and excited. The only problem i have is, i want to now leave my boyfriend. I know that this sounds harsh but he actually makes me sick. I know its probably my hormones playing up, but when i've wanted to be sick all i've thought about was him and wollah! I want to do this on my own anyway, as much as i know i'm making things alot harder for myself by becoming a single parent, i do feel that i need to be alone in doing it. The only issue i have now is that i know i'm always going to have him in my life, whether i like it or not, but at least this way he won't be a permanent fixture. The only problem i have in leaving him is that he loves me to bits and i know this is going to break his heart, and i'm no heartbreaker as harsh as i appreciate i sound. So i dont know what to tell him, he has no idea that this is coming up, its gonna come as a complete surprise to him, but i've been wanting to pack up and leave for some time, and the baby and how ill its making me is making me need to be closer to my family more than ever. So how should i go about telling him, and am i doing the right thing or is this purely just my hormones?? Thanks. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): I think you are really making things hard for yourself and I know you are saying you understand that, but until you have your bambino you have no idea. I have recently had a baby I have always been good at juggling things and have achieved a lot in my young age. I am a full time stay at home mother at the moment and I love it love it love. My baby has changed my world in so many amazing ways and I cherish every moment and I can def say that it has been a huge 100% benefit having his Dad in the picture. You will be getting up in the night every 2 hours to feed him to begin with thats 24/7 you will be recovering from giving birth so its not like you pop them out and skip back home with your new bundle. I cant describe how happy my little son is when he sees me and my husband together he just cant get enough. You say you are no heartbreaker but you have broken your babies heart before he/she is even born by taking him away from his/her father. A child needs a father just as much as a mother. Unless there is a real reason for you to leave I mean a "real" reason then you need to stop being selfish. Life for you now is about your baby and whats best for he/she. Make it work with your boyfriend, change what ever you need to and set some roots. Stop running, settle down if you want a family you should embrace family life. That doesnt include lugging your baby around to wherever you fancy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): hello, i have three children, and each time i was pregnant i went completely of my husband, i disliked everything he did, how he looked and whenever he spoke to me i snapped. i was a nightmare, but during the time i did it i truely believed the feelings were real. soon as each child was born i went back to the way i was. it was all hormones for me. and i am grateful that my husband stayed around.
when i told him i was pregnant the third time he knew what to expect poor him, and basically lived in his own little world and let me get on with it.
just something for you to consider, homones are funny business.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): Did you want to leave him before you knew about the baby or did this just came up because you got the idea in your head that you wanted to do it alone? Because if that is it, then it is absolutely not right to take his child away and deprive him of being there with you in raising him/her. However, if y ou genuinly are unhappy with him, and were before you concieved, then you have to do what makes you happy. But whatever you do, make sure you do it for the right reasons.
And if you do leave, then remember that later, you have no complaining rights about how hard it is by yourself, becuase you do know how much more difficult you are making it for yourself.
~Sy.
...............................
|
