A
female
age
36-40,
*lli
writes:ive recently had a baby (4 months ago to be exact) after she was born, my partner kept saying to me he needed space, so i kept taking her on walks, when i would get home the blinds would be shut(which confused me as it was the middle of the day) one day he did this, i checked the history on the pc, i then found out hes a member of an online incest community and he had watched father daughter porn (it was older people pretending, not children) i was so angry and hurt, ive just given birth to our first born!!! is this because of me? i keep thinking its my fault that im not attractive? why has he done this, when im meant to mean more to him then anyone else right now? im crushed i really need someone help. my self worth and confidence is at an all time low, all the girls he looked at looked like me before i was pregnant, but he still says i look fine, but i think hes lying if hes had to do that? help me please xx
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male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 This seems to be quite a serious issue but it's his issue and not yours. It's not your fault so don't blame yourself but do take care in talking to him about it. He needs to address this issue with a professional sooner rather than later. But I guess talking to him about it will be very sensitive. He'll know that you've been checking up on him on the PC etc. so this might make him angry. It would probably be a good idea to talk to your local doctor and get the name of a relationship counsellor and suggest to him that you guys go together to talk about your relationship and see if this "fantasy" of his comes out. It might only be just a fantasy but it is slightly disturbing that it is about incest. Maybe he was abused as a child? Who knows but I think that more professional help is needed than I can give. Take care.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): None of this is your fault, it's his own. Maybe he's started doing it because ever since you have given birth your sex life has been lower than usual (you haven't said, i've just assumed). Ask him why he's looking at porn on the computer and the fact that it's between father and daughter is disturbing (especially considering you have given birth to his daughter). If he doesn't give you a good enough answer then give him an ultimatum, either he stops looking at father/daughter porn or you leave with his daughter. Hopefully you and his newborn mean more to him than disturbing porn.
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