A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my girlfriend of 21 months last night and I'm not quite sure what to do now. She said she doesn't love me anymore and when she first told me she loved me she didn't mean it, and I don't know if I believe that she doesn't because we've had so many good times together (which she now claims were either boring or she didn't enjoy them) and I thought I could tell when she was happy and when she wasn't. I love her very much and I don't want it to be over, we used to say we'd be together forever and I know that sounds a bit childish but I meant it at the time and I was sure she meant it too. I'm just wondering if there's anything I could or should do to make her talk to me as she's ignoring me now, or if you know why she's being like this because I thought that if we broke up it would end better than this. She said she cares about me but if she did why would she suddenly not love me, I don't understand how that could suddenly stop. I'm just a bit hurt and sad at the moment and any advice would be great, I don't want to be without her because I need her bit I know I can't force her to love me, as much as I want to.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): Don't worry, you'll be fine! You just need a to take a bit of time for your heart to heal...Besides, I'm sure that your girlfriend is NOT the love of your life. The love of your life would stay with you forever, no matter what obstacles come between you both. Treat this as a learning experience, it will make you tougher.Don't blame your girlfriend, it's not worth it. It's impossible to tell if she meant that she didn't enjoy your times together, and there's no point in wasting your time worrying. Talk to a friend, pour your heart out, do something fun together, and time heals. You must keep a positive attitude and believe that things will be better... and don't hope or think "What if she..." because that'll stop you from moving on.Good luck, and hang in there!
A
female
reader, vodkablue +, writes (12 July 2009):
hey there
i can so sympathise with how youre feeling right now as im going through a similar thing.
has your girl cut you right off or are you still talking.
you could try writing a letter going into detail explaining how you feel or you could just try to get on with life-go out with friends etc and try not to let her see that the breakups bothering you and see if that has an effect.
if that all fails you may have to accept its over. its horrible and you do feel sick to the pit of your stomach. but see how it goes first good luck and take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): I am so sorry ..you must be devastated , hurt , confused and in shock . Firstly , I think you need space from this girl to think about what you both want from this relationship. Talking immediately after the break up is too soon , the feelings are too raw .
Try to step back , go out with friends and don't be available for your ex . Then , give it a week or two text and arrange to meet for a chat over a coffee . Listen to each other , but if she says she does not love you then move on . You deserve better . It sounds as though you both need a little space . Good luck !
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