A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I had sex for the first time yesterday with my boyfriend. My question is that it wasn't pleasurable for me. I expected that though because it was my first time, but we did it twice, and i still found it uncomfortable. Is there anything i can do to make it more pleasurable?Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (24 August 2012):
 In my opinion, sexual education is a misnomer these days. It teaches about internal anatomy and some about pregnancy prevention, but it does nothing to actually educate people about sex.
Most women don't find intercourse pleasurable because of the fact that the penis is thrusting into the vagina, which stimulates the clitoris little to none. Most women find that they cannot reach orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation, so intercourse without any sort of external stimulus isn't likely to be enjoyable to you.
If you have ever masturbated to orgasm, you need to show your boyfriend what you did. Boys don't have clitorises, most don't know what or where they are, nor do they understand that the clitoris is so important to many women. He won't "just get it" with time, he can't read your mind, so you have to TELL HIM and SHOW HIM.
With time and practice, you two may eventually be able to have pleasurable sex where both of you can reach orgasm. But it takes open and honest communication.
Please use at least two methods of birth control, at least condoms and spermicide, if you were on hormonal birth control, that would be even better. At your extremely young age, having a baby would severely negatively impact your life. Don't think that pregnancy just won't happen to you, you absolutely MUST take pregnancy/STD prevention seriously.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): Give it a couple days and then try again.. if problems persist I would visit the doctor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): Yes deffo need to use lubricant and plenty of foreplay to make you more relaxed don't worry it won't be like this forever soon enough you will start enjoying it more maybe the once should have been enough then leaving it a few days also because you didn't know what to expect prob was to cause the problem as well nervousness can cause you to tighten up down below just relax and take your time x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 August 2012):
 when orthodox jews consumate their marriage with intercourse for the first time, a new bride is then not touchable for 5 days... it's to give her time to HEAL.
doing it twice on one day didn't give you time to heal...
are you properly aroused and relaxed?
what hurt? was there not enough lube?
is he too large and "hits bottom" (your cervix) because even at 52 with two children if my partner touches my cervix with his penis it shifts the uterus and hence the fallopian tubes and even the ovaries.
A man thrusting full on into a woman and "bottoming out" is akin to him being kicked in the balls... but most men don't think of it that way... (one of the reasons I strongly prefer men on the small side of average to be honest)
being relaxed is key
being well lubed is key (and if you are not relaxed you won't be well lubed and if you are not well lubed you can't relax)....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): You could try different positions and or lubrication. Also foreplay to excite you both more before hand if longer penetration is painful. It shouldn't take you both as long to finish that way.
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