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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey,Okay, I've had a thing with this guy for a year and a half, he still was in love with his ex so we decided to wait. Finally, he asked me to be his girlfriend again, I said no be because he was going to college soon. Also, I'm not good enough for him and I didn't want him to be stuck with me. I like him soo much, he's the only guy I make out with and stuff (we don't have sex, I'm a virgin and so is he), I don't want anyone else. But I know he's talking to other girls and doing stuff with them, he's in college and technically single, I understand. he parties alll the time. It drives me crazy though. Anyways, I know I'm not good enough for him. My skin is horrible, my body is disgusting and I have zero confidence. I want to end whatever we have, I don't want him to see the real me that I hide under my make-up and clothes. I can't love him when I don't love myself. How should I end things? should I tell him I'm not good enough for him?
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 Let me tell you one thing first. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,if you don't think so, listen to Christine Aguillera's song everyday if you have to!Second, you DON'T HAVE anything with this guy, it's all in your head. You are just "practice" for him, so just stop it today!Eat healthy, just drink water to clear your skin, exercise daily, and your life will change. And you will find someone who will be yours. Another song that inspires me is Smashing Pumpkins "Tonight", your life CAN change beyond your wildest dreams, beyond the stars...believe me. Put on your ipod and gofor a walk everyday. I'm doing the same, you are not alone.
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (1 October 2011):
 Dude, no-one is NEVER not good enough for anything!!! FACT!!! This is a massive confidence issue and it isn't gonna be a quick fix...You need to forget about blokes in general and do a bit of confidence building. Firstly, you need to discover what it is about yourself that you don't like. You already mentioned you hate your skin and body (fair enough) but is there anything else? Write all of this down, then decide what you can do to make changes.For example, if your skin is oily, there are products out there to help control that, if it's spotty, you can use certain products to help reduce or prevent break outs. If it's your body, then try and get more exercise, walk, jog, run, skip round the block every other day a few times. Go on health and well being sites for more info on being fitter and healthier in general.These small changes will slowly start to make a difference in you, and i hope that in time you will start to look at yourself in the mirror and smile, rather than shy away.As for ending it with him, he just needs to know that you can't see him anymore as you need time to work on you. Tell your parents, friends, those you trust of your plans to make these changes to your confidence level, as they can offer support and advice if you are finding things difficult at any stage.I sincerely wish you the best of luck, everyone deserves to feel happy and confident in themselves :)
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A
female
reader, terilmicks  +, writes (1 October 2011):
First of all, I would tell you that imagining that you are not good enough for him is the biggest problem you have to deal with, not how to tell him. I believe love cannot exist unless you love yourself. You claim to have shortcomings but i am sure everyone in the world has, yes even those people you think are perfect.Embrace yourself first. Concentrate on the things that make you comfortable in your won skin and soon you will have the confidence to deal with the issues you have with other parts of your body.If i drew a black dot in the middle of a white paper and held up the paper for you and asked what you saw what would you say? Most likely you would say you see a black dot. That is true there is a black dot but there is a whole sheet of white paper. That is you. There is a black spot in your life that you pay soo much attention to and forget the whole white and beautiful part of your life. ready to be in a relationship. You can tell him that and start working on your self confidence. there are many books out there but the bottom line is always that you need to embrace who you are and be proud of it. Start by writing down what it is that you don't like and how you think you can change that. Alternatively make a list of all your shortcomings and on the other side of the list write what you like about yourself and you will be amazed how great you are.Sometimes people see the beauty in us we cannot see, ask this guy why he likes you and you may get the confidence to start from there.And remember you are as beautiful as you perceive yourself and hte moment you remember how beautiful you are, then the world will also return the favour. Good luck To start off you are definately not
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