A
male
age
30-35,
*urch
writes:So, in the the seventh or eight grade there was this girl who I always thought was really pretty and I kinda liked. I was always nice to her and besides her girl friends almost everyone in our class made fun of her. I never really knew why because she was so nice and pretty, but anyways. She developed a crush for me in eighth grade and she asked me to dance at a Halloween dance and I did. Nothing happened after that. We were just friends. So, we went to high school and we actually got to be better friends. Then she started dating this guy who by the way is a tool. Once they started dating we started spending a lot less time together. They've been dating for quite a while now although they did break up briefly, and I barely say a word to her. I have developed a great liking for her and I just don't know what to do. It drives me crazy sometimes.
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male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 My first answer would be: let her go. If she seems happy, then there's no use waiting around, as it's not likely to end anytime soon, and it will start to really hurt.However, having been in a similar situation, I realise that the best solution is in no way the easiest.So, drawing on experiance, I advise you this:Make the effort. Always try and stay close to her, as a friend. Always make sure you are there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. That way, if she does break up with this tool-of-a-boyfriend, you'll be there for her. Always try and remain in the background, as the best friend who is always there.ButDon't get your hopes up. That's what'll hurt the most. There is every chance that she won't break up with this guy, so you have to be prepared for that. Wait a while, yes; but if, after a long while, everything's going smoothly for them, then I suggest it's time to broaden your horizens once more. Don't dwell on her if everything looks fine with their relationship: you'll only hurt yourself.Letting go of someone is hard, and painful. I know: I've been through it. But beleive me, NOT doing it at the right time hurts waaaaaay more in the long run. So be optimistic about it all: be a great, loving friend to her, and maybe, if it all goes wrong, she'll look to you in the end. But always be prepared to let go.Sorry about your predicament, and I hope this helps. Good luck!
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