A
male
age
41-50,
*lackbug5679
writes: My wife and I ran into some serious relationship issues back in March/April of this year. We started counseling in May/June and after 3 sessions (the 3rd one being a private one with my wife) I was told and I quote "to prepare for the end of your marriage and for us to seek individual counseling." My wife then wanted a separation and told me she was very confused. Throughout July we practically led separate lives taking care of the kids. Then sometime at the beginning of August (after my son and I were away for a week)she said she was ready to go to another marriage counselor. So we had a joint session then after 2 private ones like the last time, she was advised she is not ready for marriage counseling. However, when I talk about her being depressed she claims it is not just that - it is the fact that we have had issues for some time. If that is the case what better time than now to go to marriage counseling? She now wants to seek individual counseling (which was not done back in July) and continue being "Just Friends" I am having a hard time dealing with this news. On one hand I have to stay the course yet on the other hand I want to work on these issues while in counseling. Any thoughts? Its hard to be "Just friends" for close to 6 months when you care about someone so deeply.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): From what i've experienced, if you want this as much as you say. I advise that you just go through the motions. Don't scare her off by applying pressure on her to choose. She's obviously already confused enough and needs her space. pressure will only push her further. Respect her needs and give her space. She will notice this and will appreciate it like no other.So, Let her know you love her, and that you want this to work. Then start working on being strong for the both of you and your kids. Step back, stay true to your word, and when she is ready, be there for her.The hard part is, At the same time,don't get your hopes up, don't expect anything, and slowly start preparing for the worse to ease the blow. Easier said then done. but if it's what you truly want, then i don't see a problem. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2009):
 Other then her "maybe" depression what else caused these MAJOR problem in your marriage that you needed counseling for in the first place?
I think you leave out the important stuff here.
However, a marriage can not work unless both parties put in 100% - so if you want this to work you AND your wife needs to put the work in. It will NOT fix itself. You two obviously need help and maybe more counseling will do the trick, but you two also need to communicate how you feel and what you want.
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