A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok im 17 and basicly I have a tutor who I have liked for a long time and i was pretty sure he liked me too because of how flirty he was with me he'd like stroke my leg, playfully grab the back of my neck,ask me to stay behind class to help him do his work, hug me, tell me how pretty I was and other things that I suppose a tutor and figure of authority shouldn't be doing to me but just recentley he has been really horrible to me like ignoring me and giving me major dirty looks for no apparent reason so i decided to tell my head about what he was doing purley for revenge i suppose and now he is in soooo much trouble he has been suspended while they 'investigate' because apparentley its not just me who he does this to he does it in other colleges too.....but right now im feeling soooo guilty for what i have done, i mean its not like i lied or told them he pinned me againt a wall or anything i just told them the truth but now I can't even sleep i feel so bad, what should I do? (thanks in advance for your answers)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): That is how you learn from your mistakes. What you did was ethically wrong (though technically right) coz you did it for the wrong reasons. You are young. You are learning. So take it as a learning experience.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 As long as you told the truth then you should not feel any guilt. Parents expect teachers to teach and protect their children while under their care. It sounds like this guy dropped his end of the bargain. If you told the truth the guilt belongs to him.
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A
male
reader, CrazyMind +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Firstly, you should know that you've got nothing to feel guilty about.
As a tutor, he has a duty of care, but must also keep contact at a professional level until you're at least 18. This is true even if he knew you liked him, and even if you ever led him on; he should still maintain the relationship as a purely professional one, and not allow emotions to make the relationship any more cosier than it should be.
By telling your head, you have made the situation known, and potentially saved others from finding themselves in the same situation as you. You said he does it in other colleges too - so it's not just you this is happening to. He has shown professional misconduct, and it's his own fault for falling foul of acceptable behaviour with those in his care.
Remember, you are not to blame, and there is no reason you should feel guilty.
Perhaps talk to a member of staff that you trust, they may be able to help you come to terms with what's happening and help with any issues/questions resulting from what's happened.
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A
female
reader, Nico-La-Yo +, writes (24 March 2009):
You really should not feel bad especially since he is doing it to other people too. It is entirely his fault and he gets what he deserves if he put himself in that situation where he could get in trouble. Even if it is a closer age gap because you're older it's still regarded as unacceptable in a school and he will get what's coming to him. Even if you did provoke it, it is his fault, don't feel bad about it. ( Find a nice young lad ;D ) lol.
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