A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid i need your help. im nowhere near over my ex, "robert", and we were on and off for almost two years and inseperable bestfriends for two years before we decided to turn romantic. i love him with everything i have and i mean truly madly deeply obsessively from the bottom of my heart i can't eat or sleep sometimes because it hurts so bad. im not over him but we are over. we ended everything for good a month ago yesterday. he is my first love but he never made me happy cause i was always so stressed out about if he was happy and wouldn't go out and have fun with my friends because i was trying to be the perfect girlfriend and make him so happy. i know he feels strongly for me as well and it is not like either of us to feel strongly for someone but we love each other because of the years we spent as close friends. we have both tried and tried but we kept pushing each other away and taking two steps back for every step forward. i realize now that it was mostly my fault and i want him back so badly, i always do but i made it very clear i burned those bridges or made it look like i did. im with this new guy now and i cant get close to him. he treats me so good and all i ever think about is robert and how bad i miss him. please help me i dont know what to do. i have told this new guy, a very close friend and ex boyfriend actually, that i cant get close to him right now im not over robert and it probably wont work and im not sure if i want this. he says he will do anything to help me and make me happy and doesn't wanna give up. im so torn up. ive got this great guy but all i think about is robert. i dream about him every night and wish i was in his arms. please help me dear cupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): It sounds like you love you ex..but not in a good way. It looks more like an obsession or a bad habit rather than love. Love usually brings out the best in us, to be more of ourselves and a feeling of comfort. Even if you were to break up with this new guy, and go back to your ex, nothing would have changed with you and everything would just repeat itself. It's not about being fake, or being the perfect lover.
Instead of thinking about your ex and all these things you used to have, why don't you try to focus on yourself a bit. Endlessly reliving the good and bad times is a choice we make for ourselves, and you hope to find a form of understanding or acceptance in the future. The moment you accept that you and your ex are over, you can begin to move forward.
I hope you find the will to move forward. Good luck to you, its not easy but it makes us stronger and better people, if you so desire this path.
A
male
reader, tonik  +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Hello there, it seems you really have a strong bond to this guy. I suggest you should follow your heart and date him again but then again you have a new guy whom I think you made a mistake of dating him while still having a strong connection for your *Ex* , I am saying this because I have experience of that. Honestly you are just torturing the new guy's feelings. You are in love with your Ex, don't deny your feelings. Tell the new guy the whole story which I think is going to be quite tough. Give it a try and see what happens.
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