A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I need your help! I'm two weeks away from completing my internship, but lately things haven't been going smoothly. Last week my disabled mom got severely ill and I heard my dad (who suffered a heart attack last year) may have a liver problem. It threw me off my game and I missed two deadlines because of it. In the end I was able to hand in everything before the final cut off date, but my boss wasn't happy about it. I explained what was going on. She said I wasn't communicating well and that deadlines are deadlines. I said I’m not one to advertise my personal problems and that I made a mistake in judging how much longer it would take me. Then I promised it wouldn’t happen again. She also said I got distracted a lot. We're in an office without cubicles, so basically when someone needs something from someone else, they just talk to each other over the table. It can be very confusing, as it's not always clear who's talking to whom. I'm always alert because of this, because when I shut it all out they went "Hey, earth to [my name]". So in short, lately they (mostly my boss) haven't been happy with me. Some of my colleages however have complimented me on the work I hand in. Now, my problem is this. I need to hand in my final thesis by the end of the week (for Uni) and I hardly have time to work on it. I leave home at 5.30am every day and come home at 8pm or later. That doesn't give me a lot of time to do...well anything. The company knows about my long commute, but they don't care. My boss said that I should have moved to the city where the internship is at and that this is my decision. Problem is, I don't have the money to do that. I already loaned most of my savings to my dad to keep our heads above water. The commute is low priced. At least a lot lower than moving would be. Today I made the decision that I was going to take half a day off. They don't allow interns to do that, so I just lied and send my boss an early message saying I had a dentist appointment I forgot about and that I was very sorry, but that I had to go. I got a message back saying she wasn't happy about it, pointing again at my lack of communication and that she wants to talk to me when I get back to work. I used the hours to work on my thesis, but I’m afraid this is going to reflect negatively on me. I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to fail my internship, but I’ve got my hands tied. I have asked in the past if they’d give me time to work on my thesis, but they’ve always reacted negatively. So this is the only way I can do this. Any idea on what to say?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 February 2013):
 Your boss is right.. communication is key... and honesty is key too...
My husband is sick right now and will be demanding a lot of my time off of work for medical tests, treatments and care..... I'm loathe to admit it but I went to my boss today (my leave approving official) and although our leave is always approved without question I wanted him to know why I would be requesting so much leave in the next few weeks... and I told him "my husband is very sick and I will be taking care of him" My boss said "thank you for the heads up" and smiled....
He just was appreciative of the heads up explanation of why I was going to be out of the office so much...
an you get an extention on your thesis?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): Hmm what a dangled web we weave when we practice to deceive .., in short good communication and truth are always the best policy . However you are not the first nor the last to fib ... (Lie) .You have explained the situation to your boss from what I've gathered and yet there doesn't seem much leeway forth coming. It could be that previous interins have lied and she had been so what easy with them, only to discover the truth later ( who knows)..I would brace myself for a not very welcoming return chat, better being forearmed as the saying goes.. Do not excuse your previous matters, explain again very briefly that you had extreme personal matters to deal with that left you very stressed and did impact upon your ability to get the work in early. However you did make the deadline (even if it was just) and you did not ask for an extension to complete it. Your quite willing to listen and take on board any criticism or negative points. I would also add that your personal reasons for travelling, though not there issue.. Maybe you could find some middle ground . Example getting a half day, then working the Saturday to make up or working later and gaining the hours over the four nights to get half day Friday .I can understand your dilemma as when studying to become a nurse, I had a sick father, autistic son and later Became pregnant . I found that all my extra shoulda been free time (haha) was taken up with taking notes and writing essay and compiling my thesis. Like you I had a mentor ( in my case) who did not care that my father was dying I had to produce the goods . After my father died I sat four exams that I had missed in one sitting. I was pleased they allowed me to do so, but the pressure was great .. You may find that like me, instead of having lunch and talking you wil need to work write and eat... I had no time for friends or hobbies... And you may have to give them up if your serious about finishing your internship ..As for mind wandering, that cannot be helped due to the pressure at home. And I would also explain that part. However as long as you are obtaining a mark you feel confident with and happy . Then I do not understand their issue. I do agree but can understand your hesitant reasons for not discussing your personal issues but you may need to reavalueate this as from my point of view this is the reason your in the pickle your in. And lets hope they don't want to check what dentist you were at either? Try and be as open as you can... Point out your positives and get ready with the big shoulders to accept blame if need be and work with them to solving your situation..Take care x
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