A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Im completly new to this but I don't know who else to talk to. I'm 20 and just started uni about 6 weeks ago. I've been with my bf for nearly three years now and we've got a good relationship(we argue but not alot, we trust each other completley etc).We have discussed a realistic future and nearly moved in together about a year ago. He's known from the begginning that I was going to uni. A week ago he said he didn't think he wanted to be with me anymore, he wasn't sure what it was that was making him feel this way (and I do believe him) but says he loves me but theres nothing else there. I went home this weekend to try to sort things out and when we're together you wouldn't know theres a problem but when we're not, he says that nothings changed and me being there didn't make him feel any better. I know maybe I'm being a mug by waiting but I can't bear to throw it all away. I don't know how I'd cope without him, sounds silly but we've been'us' for so long I'm niot sure I know how to be just 'me'? Also, I want to fight for this but I don't know what I can do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 I am not sure you can! Love is a feeling and a commitment you SHARE with someone. If that person does nos feel the same way about you, sooner or later that relationship will end.
What I would advice for you to SEE if there is something to be saved is to talk to him, in person. About what he is feeling, how long has he felt this way, what has changed and if he think there is anything that could make it better.
From that conversation you should be able to know if there was something for you to hold on to or not. If there is nothing more to do because he fell out of love, you need to move on! It will be difficult at times but it will also help you get to know yourself better. Spend time as "me" as opposed to "we" and discover your self, your likes and dislikes. Eventually, look back on your relationship and grow from the experience so you can be prepared when someone else comes your way.
Best of lucks.
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