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I've given him lots of hints that I would like to date him ....

Tagged as: Age differences, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2015)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I work with a guy that I think likes me. We talk almost every day. We do not work in the same department so we don't see each other except in passing occasionally during the day, so it's usually on the way in that we talk. We text almost every day (just a few texts back and forth even on the weekends). He usually initiates them, but not always. We have a ball talking and laughing. He's made some comments that allude to the fact that he likes me as more than a friend. I'm 9 years older than him. I'm 46. I don't really care and I don't think he does either. He thought I was 41 and when I told him my age, his reply was, "so all that means is that I couldn't have taken you to the prom!". Anyway, he has not asked me out. I've known him for 8 or 9 months. We often talk about what we "should" do. I have initiated a few lunches that we've gone to during the work day. We've talked and laughed and had a ball. I have no idea if he thinks I'm too old to date, if he wants to keep work and his personal life separate, etc. I'd like him to make a move if one is going to be made. I am not usually a "hinter", but when he asks me my weekend plans I will often tell him that I have absolutely nothing going on. He makes absolutely no move to ask me to have a drink or dinner or catch a movie or anything! But we talk about hanging out at my pool this summer. I think he thinks of me as a friend. Anyway, pretty soon I want to just say "I have a date" next time he asks me what my weekend plans are. Any thoughts?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2015):

Clearly it looks like he is just being friendly. I agree with previous answer though, seems like he is taken and just enjoying talking/flirting to an older co-worker.

You can def take the forward approach and just ask him out right away. If he says Yes or NO, then you have your answer (if he likes you he would never hesitate to say yes)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2015):

I think he has a significant other. Wife or girlfriend. And maybe you are misreading his behaviour as something more than just friendly.

If he was available and liked you that way, he would have asked you out by now. Men will be forward when they are interested. Even the shyest ones will find a way.

It is possible for a man to be friends with a woman ONLY.

So, try to find out for sure if he is in fact attached. Ask a leading question to him where you can get it out of him. You will know in the conversation when to throw in.... "I am sure your wife/girlfriend appreciates your culinary skills...." something along those lines. You can feel him out and know where to lead the conversation to get your answer.

If he says he is single, then say to him... I am free this weekend, how about dinner on Saturday? Just be blunt and go for it. As the other poster said, you will then have your answer.

You are likely afraid of disappointment because you have the hope that it could turn into something more and are enjoying the whole courting process and potential of something between you and that will be squashed if he is not interested.

But, it is better to know sooner than later, isn't it? There is no point in dragging it on. We have to go for it in life. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose but we need to keep playing the game.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (14 May 2015):

Honeygirl agony auntOkay, are you sure he is not married or has a girlfriend? He might just enjoy the chatting but doesn't want to take it further because he is committed to someone else?

If he is indeed completely single - then ask him out - and tell him that it is as 'friends only', maybe something will develop from that.

If he turns you down, well then you have your answer...

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