A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everybody,I am in a very happy, healthy relationship with my bf of a bit over a year. We have great sex and all that, too.I'm a bit concerned though, because I have a thyroid problem and so I have gained quite a bit of weight. I was about 145 when we started dating and I'm now pushing 185. I've been dieting and exercising A LOT, and to no avail! The weight keeps going up and up. I am also a former anorexic. I was very thin and still thought I was horribly fat. So now that I am so very big (I am only 5' 1"), I just feel awful about myself and feel that I have no control. I don't want to go out anymore, and I now have very few clothes that fit me.I am beginning to be afraid to take off my clothes in front of my bf, as I fear that he will start to find my body to be unattractive. I know that the kind of porn he likes certainly doesn't show girls like me. They're thin and beautiful, I'm short and fat. Does this reflect what he would prefer in real life?Does anyone have any advice to help me be more confident? Or weight loss tips? Thanks so much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): Agreed. Talk to him. I'm on the other end, my gf gained about 50lbs since we met about 2 years ago. I still find her very sexy and I'm very attracted to her. Because of her insecurities I'm no longer allowed to watch or touch her while she gets dressed and we don't have sex but once a month. Because of all this now I find myself insecure, hurt, and angry. The secondary problems can become much greater issues than the change in body composition.
A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (3 March 2012):
 Sit down with your BF and ask him directly, without qualms or judgement, if he loves your extra padding or dislikes anything about it.
Honest, open and direct questions are more important in a relationship than constantly wondering and never knowing.
My brother only dates girls who are "overweight," sometimes going as far as dating pregnant women. He loves the extra cushioning. The warmth and softness turns him on.
Most guys are disillusioned, like myself, into thinking any woman over size 12 is morbidly obese. Some men like "big butts" or "huge breasts" and some men like tight behinds and petite "A" or "B" cup women.
Every man is different. Some men do not pay any attention to the woman's looks, and focus solely on personality.
Just ask him. Do not be afraid of his answer. Do not take a negative-sounding answer as a bad thing. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If he truly loves you no matter how big you are now, then he's a keeper.
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