A
female
age
30-35,
*lf0117
writes:Hello everyone. I am going through a pretty complicated situation right now and I am in desperate need of advice. In April of last year, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years. I knew about a year before the break up that I was done, but it was really hard actually making the break. After two failed attempts, I was able to leave him for good in April. A few months go by, and I'm doing well. I was sleeping around (nothing serious) and even traveled abroad. However, in July I had a moment of weakness and decided to sleep with him. After that happened I knew I never wanted to see him again because he made me feel like an awful person. He was abusive to me throughout our entire relationship (emotionally, mentally and financially). Two weeks after this horrible mistake I made, an old acquaintance reached out to me to ask me out on a date. I had met him a few times at gatherings in the past. I always thought he was handsome, funny and charming. He is friends with my ex's brother. Even though I probably should have said no to a date, something told me I should give him a chance. Fast forward six months, and we are still together. He is amazing and by far the best boyfriend I've ever had. We laugh all the time and hardly ever have disagreements. We have both confessed our love for each other. Up until a few days ago, I wasn't having any doubts. But now, I am starting to feel uneasy. I feel like maybe I wasn't single long enough. I am imagining a future with this guy, who I am in love with, and I'm getting really scared and freaked out. A part of me wants to just break up with him and run away and be alone for a while. Especially because I don't want him to have to deal with my emotional baggage. But another part of me is convinced that this guy is the one and I should stick around.I don't want to hurt him and I'm afraid that my past issues will harm my current relationship. I care about him very, very much but I also have never been single as an adult. My gut tells me I need to be alone and focus on myself. I know I did not take enough time to get over my ex. I don't want to throw away this amazing thing. I know it will just make me even more depressed. But I am also scared. Help!! What should I do?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 February 2016):
 Off course that is possible, stress does a lot to our bodies and our minds. If you are stressed at the moment, well then that could also be making you second guess your relationship. Try and do a date night every week. Forget work, bills, finding a house. Both of you just relax and have dinner or a drink, light some candles and just enjoy each others company.
I know when am stressed I enjoy a nice glass of wine in a warm bath with candles, it works wonders. Find what helps with you and aim to do this once a week.
A
female
reader, dlf0117 +, writes (29 January 2016):
dlf0117 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your response. I do love him and I don't want to be with other people. He is amazing. I am also very stressed about other things in my life (job, finding a place to live, etc.) So I wonder if it's possible I am just having a LOT OF anxiety right now.
Again, thank you I really needed to hear this.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (29 January 2016):
If you love him then you should stay with him. At the end of the day your hearts not going to lie. Are you over your ex now? It sounds to me like you had plenty of time to get over your ex, once you had a one night stand with him, you knew there was nothing between you both, that should have been your closure.
It sounds to me like you have found a great man, you sound like you are afraid of commitment. If you need some time alone, well then book a holiday where you can go off on your own and have some time to think. If you have issues from your last relationship talk to your boyfriend about your fears. Do not let your ex ruin your future.
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