A
female
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anonymous
writes:I am a seventeen year old girl and i have recently seen sense. When I was 15 i'd jump into bed with just about anybody and i was known as the class tramp. Fortunately, now i have started to respect myself and realised that affection is not gained through cold clinical sex.My problem: I have really staretd falling for a guy(I haven't slept with him) But he is only interested in sex from me. He is quite a player from what I have heard. I badly want him to be my boyfriend because Im attracted to his personality( apart from him being a player and not wanting a relationship) He really makes me laugh and I like him lots but he's made it pretty clear that he only wants sex. Can I change his mind??Please don't tell me to move on, he is the only guy I've truly ever wanted to be with.....thanks!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): listen, it is not jock. he is going to play with your feelings. those people you slept with it was because you wanted to experence something but now you are not interested in JUST SEX otherwise there are thousands of people out there funnier than him and more atractive and goodlooking who they have higher SEX desire. you should do your study and get a decent job and have a higher self steem. still you are young and plenty time to find a guy who is looking for some one who wants respact and mutual care. Look for someone who has a good family background otherwise you will regret it. He is the one who just want SEX. which after reading your message i am sure you do not want JUST SEX. so respect yourself then you are forcing others to respect you. Leave him in dark and step out of this ruin place. Call HIM for help and a guidance in your life and use your inner prophet (your brain). God bless you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): ok listen you know that really he is not the guy 4 you but still you have fallen for him think about it do you really want to be with him or just want someone to like you im in pretty much the same situation i kissed this guy from work in november and i really wanted to get with him again and i did so that was in januarythen i kissed him again but all of these times iwas the one who made the first move but now since the last time i kissed him im wondering wats going on he really wanted sex but i wouldnt have sex with him because i didnt trust him now im even more confussed with him than beforei think really you should just look at wat you will gain from having sex with him and make your choice on wat you will do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): I know how you feel i am sort of in the same situationn but i am a vergin and i reall y like this guy but i know that he is a bit of a player too. I have been thinkin about it and i have come to the conclusion that if all that he wants is sex then he is not worth it, you cant change the way people are put it this way at lest he has said it up front that all he wants is sex and you said so your self that you dont want a relationship so either just have sex with him so can at least be with him that way or forget him you are worth more then that, trust me.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (8 March 2006):
You can't change a person who doesn't want to be changed. He seems to be happy sleeping around with any girl he likes. So he won't change. He doesn't want anymore then just sex, so he has no reason to change. As great of a girl you are and he should be so lucky to have a girl like you wanting him, some guys (especially at a young age) just don't want a relationship.
I know you said to not to tell you to move on, but if I didn't then I would be lying and wouldn't be giving yo uthe best advice I could.
I know this guy seems like he is perfect for you, but thats just it, he SEEMS to be. He makes you laugh, but so can soooo many other guys. Its not the end of the world. You can find so many other guys out there who you will be attracted too, who will make you laugh, and who want a relationship. Its just a matter of time.
Theres this ideology in our world that love conques all and that if you love osmeone its 'meant to be'. thats not always the case. You can love someone with all your heart and they cna love you back, but love doesn't equal a healthy, and succesful relationship, it takes more then that. It takes more then love to make it work. As you can see in this case, you need more then just the deep feelings you have for this guy. As much as you like him, it won't work out because he doesn't want to be commited and you don't want just sex.
Think about what YOU WANT in life. You want a guy who you love and who loves you, who is commited and has all the great qualites you could imagine. Now think about what this guy is, he is attractive afn funny. that is only, ONLY 2 things out of aguy that you do and shoul want in one.
My advice is to move on, stay true to your beliefs because if they mean so much to you then you will regret it if you don't. and think positivly, there are so many other great guys out there. this guy isn't the one for you. but be happy because you are going to have so much more then just a one night stand. so much more! take care
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A
female
reader, valsan +, writes (7 March 2006):
Girl you are 17, there WILL BE OTHER GUYS! I sorry if I sound harsh, but how can you possibly know he is the only guy you want to be with? In the past you jumped into bed with anybody, why? Think, you can do much, much, much better for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): I don't understand this...You are thinking of purposely positioning yourself into a painful, difficult situation with a guy-who has made it clear all he wants 'is sex'. Why? Because you 'like him"? Believe me, he banking on that! It's plainly obvious that 'boinking' the girls simply boosts his self-esteem and he not looking to give and cherish someone. Sex to him it really is just that-sex. No strings attached, no committment, no love. In which case, then sex is all about him, his self-centered feelings and urges and not his partner. So..what's more important? Your self-respect or becoming this guy's sperm depository? You have been promiscuous in your past-you know what that does to a person. You have made remarkable changes to your life which I respect. But, now you want to risk all that and your own self-value, by taking a hurtful step backwards. So keep working at your self-respect, because judging from this posting, you are not fully quite there, yet. It sounds like you want to be loved and cared for more than you care about your own well-being. Love involves being cherished. These things are not the things you will have you will have, with this young man. If I were you, I'd hold myself up to a higher standard and find someone who sincerely will care and cherish you...for who you are. Take care, hun, be strong and resist...you will never regret it. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (7 March 2006):
 Good words from WillyWombat.
You don't want anyone to tell you to move on because you know thats probably what your going to have to do. Either that or give in and shag him (and he is likely to go once he's had his cake) PLEASE bear in mind that if you sleep with him that he has slept around so a condom is ESSENTIAL!
It doesn't all have to be bad. You've expressed how much you do like this lad. And you've been quite honest about yourself so you know where you've made the mistakes before. The trick is to stop making them. You can spend time with this lad without sleeping with him. Tell him you don't feel ready yet and want to wait until you're comfortable. And do exactly that...... DON'T sleep with him until you feel you have gained respect, trust, understanding, all the stuff that coems with relationships.
If you stick to your guns the most important thing is that you will have respect for yourself for doing so. You've already admitted your problems, thereofre if you sleep with him to make him happy you may end up feeling pretty down about yourself and its just not worth that!
The MOST IMPORTANT thing is to stick to your guns. He will either admire you for it and grow new respect for you, which will GREAT you will have your man. Or he will leave and go and shag someone who is a doormat. Surely you don't want to be that doormat.......
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (7 March 2006):
 Of course you want to be with him because he has made it clear he doesnt want a relationship with you!! We always want what we cannot have. At least he is being honest from the start and not pretending he wants a reltionship to get sex.
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIMEVER!!!!
He will *do one* as soon as he gets what he wants. You will not hold onto him thru sex. Make yourself completely sexually unavailable to this guy and maybe he will become intrigued. Play it cool. But I can tell you this catagorically, he will sleep with you and move on if you make that mistake, so do not do it.
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