A
female
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*ngelicc
writes:okay i have to admit i'm highly dramatic for person. just yesterday i said to my boyfriend that maybe we should go on a break. i thought it was best because i think i try to be my own person again and he needs to figure out what he wants, how he feels and what's wrong. because lately my boyfriend has been reverting back to the person he use to be and it isnt good for our relationship. at first he didnt agree but after awhile he did. the really weird thing was all night i couldn't get a wink of sleep, i just started thinking about if theres gonna be a future for us, what if he says he doesnt want to be in this relationship with me...etc etc.... it worried me so much i cried...is that normal....or am i just being dramatic.
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female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (8 March 2006):
Angelicc is verified as being by the original poster of the question thax willywombat i think your right i do need to keep my distance from him. he needs the space so much.....and i need to find a few new hobits. when i think about it i do think your right about the communtion between my boyfriend and i. i do think i do too much of the talking but not enough listening so i think i just let my boyfriend talk to me when he's ready. i love him so much and just wish for him to be happy, so i'll just have to do what he feels is best.
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (8 March 2006):
 I understand a bit more now. If you feel your relationship is stifling you both then it is the sensible thing to do...standing back and viewing it from a distance for a while.
I hope it all works out for you both.x
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (8 March 2006):
Angelicc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank for you opinion willywombat. I not going to tell my boyfriend how I feel about the break because he obviously needs this time to figure a few things an it would be terribly unfair of me to do that. But I do think you got the wrong idea about a few things like when I said highly dramatic...I meant in the sense that I tend to dramatize problems. And when I said my boyfriend was reverting, it’s to the person he used to be before we were together he told me that he use to be cold, uncaring especially to his girlfriends. But he wasn’t like that to me, okay he had his moments, generally he was very affectionate he was even the first one to say I love you. So I don’t believe that our relationship changed him but actually made him to be more open as a person.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (8 March 2006):
Sorry, one more thing. I note in your reply you said you will be telling hm what you think. Bt I think you should really not be *telling* him anyhitng alse. I think you need to be *listening* to him. And hearing whta he needs. Communication is not just about speaking it is about hearing and listening as well.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (8 March 2006):
Ther is something I want to point out in your letter which I find slightly disturbing and I want you to look at it and analyse what you mena by it..
*because lately my boyfriend has been reverting back to the person he use to be and it isnt good for our relationship.*
Now this is disturbing because by implication you are saying your relationship has changed his personality. If this has happened then it is no wonder he wants to get out and BE HIMSELF for a while, he may feel as tho he has been acting a part and trying to pretend to be something he is not to keep you happy.
And I also think that as you are a highly dramatic person by your own admission that maybe you use this as an excuse to get your own way, leaving your BF with no way of getting himself heard or getting his needs and wants understood.
I think that (and this is only an opinion formed on the little information we have available here) you need to back off and let him *find himself*. It takes two people to make or break a relationship and you can't MAKE somebody change if they dont want to. And also you cannot forca a personality change on somebody who doesnt want to do it themselves.
I hope things work out the way you want them to. But I also hope you find the strength to look inside yourself for some of the answers you seek.
xx
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (8 March 2006):
Angelicc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThax you very much to all. i'm still not sure that about telling my boyfriend because he really needs the break he needs to figure somethings out and i dont want to take the time to himself away him. so i think i'll telling him how i feel but i still think he needs a break from me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): I can totally relate to you..and my advice would be to go with your heart... It is normal to feel afraid of loosing him..but if you two really love each other, time is the best solution, time will let you both know if it was really meant to be. Now, what you said about him going back the way he was, let me give you a little advice: you cant change a person, the same way he can't change the way you are. We are who we are and we'll never change; if we say that we'll change we are just lying to ourselve. I don't really know how he was before, but you knew already he was like that...Accept him for who he is, or leave him. Don't seat and wait for a change 'cause ain't happening....hope it helps, good luck
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A
female
reader, Leah +, writes (8 March 2006):
 you are not being drymatic this is normal sweetie... talk to him.. tell him how you feel everything... if you cry let it out it shows how much you care.. dont be afarid! he needs to know
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A
female
reader, ask phoebe +, writes (7 March 2006):
 If your boyfriend wasn't a caring enough person to let you go on a break, he doesn't deserve you. I won't tell you what to do but follow your heart, you deserve someone who will let you do what you want and let you decide if you need a break.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (7 March 2006):
 Just give eachother some time alone to think about what you guys' really want out of your relationship.
You must love this guy or you wouldn't have been crying about it. It's not being dramatic, you're being very normal.
If he realizes what he has and don't want to lose it, he'll be back, but then again maybe he won't and you may have to move on, but at least you'll know now and not later on down the road.
Good Luck!!!!
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