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male
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anonymous
writes: I have fallen in love with the woman i work with. We chat a lot and we can tell each other anything. She knows things about me that i've never told anyone else. Problem is she's married. Things are not that rosy between her and her husband, but i don't think they would ever leave each other. When he works evenings / weekends she text me frequently and we laugh and joke about. Sometimes they seem to indicate she has feelings for me more than just friends, but i may be reading more into it than there is. When he is around i get the odd text, but not very often. I feel like kissing her or making some signal but don't want to ruin our friendship. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): You may have a special place in her heart but she is about to wreck yours. You'll be the man she fools around with hurting her husband and family, and in the end you'll be the man who is all alone. You are on the road to unhappy..
It's long..
Let her sort her marriage out, don't add to another mans' pain. Find someone who is free to love you. and love yourself enough to come out of this an honourable decent guy with morals, some strength and so much to give to a woman who is free to love you back.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2006): Hi,I am the originator of this message just giving an update if anyone is interested. A couple of weeks ago we had a heart to heart chat and both confessed we have feelings for each other. At the time she said she can not and will not let anything happen between us to jeopardise her marriage or family. However since this chat we seem to have grown closer than ever and are very touchy feely in the office and last week we ended up on my couch kissing after work. She claims i will always have a special place in her heart, and i'm always on her mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006): You should get out of your relationship with her immediately. She's married!! You want to be responsible for destroying her marriage? You're playing with fire with an open gas can in your hand. Foolish!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): go for it. She is probably as into you as you are into her. She's a big girl, and can make her own decisions. At very least, she (and you) will know how each other feels....even if its not going to be permanent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): It's obvious that she trusts you and likes you a lot. Yet she is married and may struggle with herself not to act upon it. It probably won't ruin your friendship since she seems to like you a lot. But if either of you act upon it, you should take notice of what other people are saying here on the board. There are consequences.And the chances are: one of you might not be able to control the situation if you kiss or signal her.So think soberly.
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A
female
reader, Riquette +, writes (21 January 2006):
Im here to tell you dont do it,just went through that,i had a deep emotional relationship with a co -worker for a yr ,no sexbut my wife went on a confrence last week,co -worker and i hooked up kissed and cuddled expressed feelings for each other,wife came home,all hell broke lose,i now am on the verge of getting fired from my ,job,maybe lose my wife home,mean while she denies everything to her husband,and has filed a restraining order on my wife.its not worth it if she is married,she will toy with you and when things are discovered you are the one at fault,take this from someone its happening to right at this very moment. TRUST ME DONT DO IT FRIEND
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A
female
reader, hookemhorns +, writes (20 January 2006):
I feel for you here. I am married and in the same situation almost. But i came out and told him in a email no less, that i hoped i didn't over step and had no right to feel this way since he has a g/f and i am married but i am really attracted to you. He said thank you for being honest with me. and things are good with us but i still have the hots for him. but, as long as he don't pursue the issue i would let it rest, i don't want to ruin my marriage over a lust for friend. be careful all women are differet, if i was this girl and i would want you to tell me..i would rather know maybe see feels the same. just be prepared that she will pry never leave her husband. I hope this works for you. I wish you were the guy at my work...then i would know where things stand with us. take care
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (20 January 2006):
 Sadly for you there may be little choice but to sit on your hands for the time being. If you declare your feelings now you are only going to add pressure to a already pressure cooker situation between her and her husband. Something that she may not thank you for and may ruin any chance of anything blossoming as well as the friendship.
You may have to accept that this women will never be your lover and confine yourself to platonic expressions of affection. In having her affections as a friend your relationship will never be subject to the same stresses and strains as a lovers one. Although she may not share your life with you as completely she will most likely share it with you for longer as a friend. I hoped that helped. I wish things were different and with you all the luck with this.
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