A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:An year ago, I went with my then 3 month old friend with benefits (lets call him A) on a vacation to his hometown. We were FWB but we were firstly very good friends. The whole 3 weeks when on by perfectly, lots of fun, sex, doing nothing, going dancing.Then one day we when clubbing with some friends and family and I ended ep kissing one of his cousins. I'm so ashamed of that, it's ridiculous.Now, by the time it happened I was already secretly falling in love with A and I guess I just wanted to prove myself I could be in charge of my own feelings. His cousin wasn't even appealing to me, but A had barely give me any attention that night and, because we hadn't an actual relationship, he innocently commented on some girls. I was pretty drunk and his cousin complimented my hair and.. Well, don't I look like a desperate slut.It wasn't a surprise kiss, I know the conversation was leading to that and I went with it, he was holding my hand.. I immediatelly regreted it, but I couldn't pull myself together to turn the guy down after leading him I guess. So when I was leaving the club he kissed me goodbye. This time, A saw it.When I got home we had a major fight, I guess A felt betrayed or offended, and he said we should stop what we had.Even with this situation, we eventually made up. We were both a mess for weeks but he forgave me. We are still together, we now have a discrete bf/gf relationship and we are both very satisfied.However, he wants to go back again for another couple of weeks and he obviously wants me to go. I am mortified. I never talked to the cousin again, he added me on facebook but I couldn't even accept the request. The cousin will be there and it will be so awkward and it will just remember us of everything.But mostly, A doesn't know I kissed is cousin twice. He only knows what he saw. I mean, even back there I felt I was in such a sh**hole that I thought I should just keep it out of the conversation, as it meant nothing to me, and would break his heart even further.I know, just know that if I go now tell him this detail, we are sure to break up. But I am afraid that his cousin mentions the TWO kisses and the whole holding hands thing and then it will be another stab in poor A's heart.I already told A (by told I mean cried like an idiot) this time I know that I want him and only him, and apologized again for being such and idiotic slut.I am afraid of losing him for something I did an year ago, that I regret so much that I start crying the second I even thing about it.Please, tell me what to do.I know many people have been in similar situations (cheating to any degree on someone they truly love) and I would really, really appreciate some insight.
View related questions:
clubbing, cousin, drunk, facebook, friend with benefits, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (27 June 2014):
 You came clean with the kiss, the details are not required whether once or twice.
Something that you both need to understand that when its FWB, you both are free to kiss date and do as you please. So when the relationship became GF/BF and if you then cheat , he as every right to be peeved. So I would clear the air that when you FWB you both were free agents and that don't want to question and know if he messed around with another girl. This will clear and set the platform.
The fact that you need to see the cousin. Behave normal and stick to your BF side and if he is an idiot to remind you , tell him you were drunk and have no memory, he will feel like an idiot and leave you alone. You cannot hide but you can fake confidence and indifference in order to move on. Also note that your BF will be watching your reaction and this might be a test. You decline his invite, he will think you got something to hide, you accept the invite and he will be watching you. Safest accept the invite and like I said just stick to the BF side and don't put yourself in a position that you are alone with the cousin. You will be fine, believe it and take a confident approach.
|
