A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have fallen for a woman who has feelings for me but owing to being recently badly hurt by someone has serious trust issues. Her guard is up and she is finding it very difficult to believe that I mean what I say.I'm taking things slowly and not putting any pressure on her but how can I really prove to her that I mean what I say? For me this is the real deal, I've been in love once before and this puts that experience in the shade.Any advice greatly received. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo worries and thank you for your advice
A
female
reader, Kittycat1412  +, writes (15 November 2007):
 So sorry I assumed you were a guy! Silly me didn't look at your profile!! Best of luck and you do sound like a WOMAN of integrity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. All 3 pieces of advice are the same and are very much the path I am walking with her. And I am very much a WOMAN of integrity. Thank you once again and I shall let you know how it all pans out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Actions speak louder than words. All you can do is show her over time that you're the real deal. You can tell her until you're blue in the face, but until she sees you are genuine, she'll still have those thoughts. She'll come around eventually. Be open and honest about everything. Don't pressure her in any way, but keep showing her you are committment to her. I'm sure things will work out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Trust is something that is earned. Start with small promises and KEEP YOUR WORD ALL THE TIME. Don't waiver in this. Small breaches will be tallied against you. Profuse apology must follow if you find you cannot keep your word by some circumstance beyond your control. Sometimes "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it. Sometimes mistakes cannot be fixed with an apology. Remember that. As you work your way along, do not think you can be lax in this. She is going to always be waiting for an excuse to say "I knew I shouldn't trust you." Don't give her one. Difficult? Yes. Impossible? Not if you are truly a man of integrity.
(Speaking from my own experience. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.)
One more thing - Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): all you can really do is wait for her to trust you, tell her that you will be waiting and you will wait as long as you possibly have to in order for her to trust you completely, just keep re-assuring her that you honestly mean this and you honestly love her with all your heart; i know it's difficult but at this point that's all she wants to hear...she may have had a passed relationship that has made her more uptite about trusting people....just be very supportive torwards her.
Good Luck.
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