A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so... I've met this guy about a month ago, and even though it's only been a month, I've quite quickly fallen head over heels.Like, I've never really felt this way about anyone before so he's obviously special! Now over the course of this past month he's always given like little hints that he might like me a little, but very, very recently it's just escalated. Like, he just went from just shyly smiling at me across the room to, in the last few days, teasing me and making brief physical contact and just unnecessarily hanging around me, to today picking me up, hugging me, paying attention to me solely and messaging me like as soon as we said goodbye. Now. Since he messaged me earlier we've been talking all night long, and like really flirting, like crazy closeness between us when I've barely been able to talk to him much before... Now usually I'd be thinking, okay this guy really quite likes me and I'd try and move further with it. Every sign is there and trust me I know, I just can't really go into detail here! The only catch is... He has a girlfriend of 2 years! I know you're all thinking what the hell?! But the thing is, I just know he's not the kind of guy who would cheat or anything, and he's been with this girl about 2 years... They seem happy I suppose, though I've never seen them together. I'm just wondering, if he is starting to see me in this different light and if I am running through his head a bit, and I know it happens easily because it's happened to me, what course of action should I take if I want this guy to be mine? And please, I'm not trying to be a homewrecker or anything, so please no hate!
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female
reader, Cripes +, writes (9 February 2013):
You are not a homewrecker.Then the next most important thing here is not to betray yourself by doing something you wouldn't want someone else to do to you. You say "he's not the kind of guy to cheat" but he already is cheating with the late night talking, flirting etc. You just need to say to him "Mike (or whatever his name is), I really like you but I feel uncomfortable about how close we are getting and I don't think it's fair on your girlfriend. I love spending time with you so much, but I think we should stop talking to each other because I think I have feelings for you and I don't think this is right."make it clear that you like him a lot, and would be interested in a relationship, but that you're not willing to do it on these sneaky, cheaty terms. Then gird yourself and leave him be. You can smile at him but NO TEXTING and NO TALKING. He'll have to think about what he wants, and break up with his girlfriend on his own time if he wants to be with you (which I think he does) and you can then hold your head up high knowing you weren't a horrible boyfriend stealer. Think Robyn's "Call your girlfriend", not Pussycat Dolls "Don't cha".
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (9 February 2013):
If you're not trying to be a homewrecker then don't try to break up their relationship!
If you really don't care then just proceed as if he didn't have a girlfriend. You can't convince him to break up with a girl he's got history with and is happy with just by flirting.
It's kind of a catch 22.
If he really won't cheat then you have no choice but to tell him how you feel and ask him how his relationship is going. Maybe he's not as happy as you thought and would be willing to leave her if he knew you were open to dating him.
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