A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I’ve just ended my relationship of 8 years last week the problems was for the last 3 years he has slept i the spare room I was stupid for letting it go on that long looking back he stopped trying to have we’d with me so I’m the end I gave up trying as well when we first met he told me he had been in a relationship before we got together where he didn’t want to be with her so he slept on the sofa because he didn’t want to share a bed with her so now i am thinking that’s the reason he has stayed in the spare room for 3 years the problem that I’m having now is getting him to move out as he has a Great Dane dog and days nowhere will take him with the dog but why should I be miserable with him being here just because he has no where to go with his dog he has used me for 8 years now and I’ve let him he made no time for me was always at work supposedly or when he wasn’t doing that was always at his mates I’m not sure what to do in this situation any advice greatly appreciated thank you
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2020): You seek legal advice when you can't find practical answers regarding your home and personal-property. You also consult with law-enforcement; when you feel intimidated or threatened by someone who doesn't respect your rights.
You then have to have the courage to follow-through with the procedures that are recommended to you. If you really wanted him out of your life; you would have pursued every means possible to get that man out of your house. You can't be mealy-mouthed or beat around the bush about things like this. You take action, and you stand your ground!
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (6 February 2020):
 Ugh...this is always tough when 2 people are living together and then break up. It depends on some factors as to how hard it will be to get him to move out but most certainly he needs to go!
Is he on the lease? If he's not, it should be easier. I know it sounds frustrating but give him 30 days to move out. Be very firm about it no wavering no "well if you can or when you can". He has 30 days period.
If he's on the lease then it becomes more complicated. You will have to work out something with him. Check with the landlord/owner and what the rules and laws are where you live.
Good for you for finally accepting that its over. He needs to go and you need to move forward in your life. It hurts but you've seen this coming and once you get past the fact that its over eventually you will be happier. Sometimes being with someone that doesn't love/treat you right is far more lonely than being alone! Remember that.
Take care of yourself OP. I wish you happiness.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 February 2020):
 You might have to evict him, OP
While HE says he has nowhere to go, THAT really is no longer your problem. Now I GET that finding a place to rent with a LARGE dog can be harder, it CAN be done. He just isn't doing it because he is RELYING on you to KEEP giving him a roof over his head.
I'd tell him he has 3 week/a months to find some place else and move out (which I think is reasonable) and then you will have him evicted. You let it go for 3 years... So I'd say 3-4 weeks is reasonable. DO check out what you NEED to do in your area first (some places you have to file at town hall, it all depends on whether you rent or own your place and whether HE is on the lease or not (if you rent). Maybe start by doing a google search on how to evict an ex partner in your province/city etc.
Good for you for realizing and accepting that there is nothing for YOU in this relationship anymore and ending it. No point in being with someone who doesn't REALLY want to be with you.
Chin up, OP
...............................
|
