A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:please forgive the length please advise i dont understand how ive developed feelings for my good friend. at first we barely spoke as we worked together on a team but not one to one which we have done recently. we have got close in a friendship way and have a lot in common and he compliments me a lot and says he enjoys my company a lot too. ive been on my own 3 years due to an abusive ex that left me in piles of debt. My friend has just got a property with a girl hes been with 5 years but sometimes i detect all is not well but i say nothing. he just makes me feel so good and i feel terrible.also im having to live at home with my mum and sister due to my situationa nd am too ashamed to tell him about this. im not out to cause problems so please dont think badly of me i just need to know what to do please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): All on my own in regards to relationship
Jeeze I feel like a scarlet woman
Im friends with him nothing more im human so feelings have developed
Not planning on doing anything !
Probably more im low and after 4 years someone showing me niceness
Beginning to wish I hadnt asked
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): How are you all on your own, but living with your mum and sister?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): I think quite a few people have got the wong end of the stick
I only said we were friends !
Im allowed to care for a friend
I only wanted a bit of advice.i didnt ask for these feelings and im not a steal your boyfriend person :(
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): A man will not waste 5 years of his life on a woman unless he love her
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A
female
reader, Melaniee  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Put yourself in her shoes..would you like to be treated like that by another woman? Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): Your type is the REASON for not letting my husband keep anymore female friends, this is why men need to stop being nice to weak emotional women!!!Your past should not be an excuse for you to steal somebody else's happiness, I'm very against women of your type, if you don't want to be treated like that.... DON'T DO IT TO OTHERS, there relationship might sound bad to you BUT that's not your business, they have been together for 5 years. He's with her that's long for a REASON ok, learn from your past and moved on in the right direction.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Do nothing. He already has a woman and a life with her. If you think 'all is not well' you have probably imagined that as wishful thinking. Just because he compliments you and is polite does not mean you should zoom in on another woman's territory and claim it for your own. He's just bein nice. That's what nice guys do. It doesn't mean they want you. So don't mess it up your work enviornment and make things "weird". Don't cross the line. Don't be fooled into thinking there's more. Don't be fooled into thinking he isn't still madly in love with the woman he shares his home and his bed with. If he wasn't happy with this woman, he wouldn't be with her. Don't assume you have a chance. You should start dating other men away from work and forget about this guy.
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A
female
reader, Superdelilah +, writes (9 July 2012):
Tell him how you feel but in a lighthearted way. No declarations of love! And see what happens. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. However, be prepared for him to say he doesn't feel the same or, even worse, he does but he doesn't want to do anything about it. Good luck and let us know how you get on xxx
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 You should not be ashamed to tell him about your current situation, at the end of the day you had a bad past, which left you in debt and now you have to pay the consequences of his actions. I am glad to hear that you have developed a good friendship at work, but yes it does worry me that you are developing feelings for this man, it seems you have been through a lot in the past, and I really do not want to see you get hurt as well. I know you say that you feel not all is well in his relationship, but at the end of the day he is still with her, and planing to make a huge commitment with her. I know it can be hard to accept when you have feelings for someone and you pick out all the negative things about there relationship, but still he is in one and you need to respect that. I think you just need to back away from him as much as you can. You need to concentrate on getting over these feelings. Why not try and meet single guys your age, keep yourself busy and try and go out on dates to keep your mind of this man at work.
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