A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 years old and the daughter of an Alabama all-men prison's warden. I'm a junior in college studying to be a psychiatrist for prison inmates.For the last two months, I've been working with a 23 year old white male accused of raping an 18 year old black female just over a year ago. He is actually innocent, he's just waiting for his next court date to prove it.The reason I'm even posting this is because the other day, (Wednesday afternoon, to be exact), he confessed to thinking I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. He said he would like to take me out on a date when he's a free man.If I told my father this, he would be all over this man and would try to keep him locked up for years to come. To be honest, I think this inmate a very sweet man and I can not believe how smart he is!I'm just wondering how I approach this situation. Please and thank you. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): One of my best friends is a registered sex offender. Accused of raping a girl. It was consensual sex, where she changed her mind after the fact. I think it was because he wanted a one night stand, and she wanted a relationship. Due to poor representation, he was convicted. There are actualy innocent men accused and prosecuted for this crime. Its hard to prove on both ends because no one else is there. Of course there is a rape kit, which she didnt have done. Through the course of his life, and certain things coming up where officials had to read his file, it was very apparent that the charges against him werent true. But he is still listed on the sex registry, but he is listed at 0% chance to reoffend.
There are many men on that file due to statitory rape too.
You are the one spending time with this man, you are the one who is in his head, you are the one who knows what he is made of.
Start a friendship, start your studies with him. But until he is back into the real world, you only know him inside those walls. You dont know his work ethic, or if he is a player if given the chance. You dont know what he would be like as a partner. But if you are enjoying his company, and he is enjoying yours, then move forward. As for his charges, if they are true in the end, and you find him not to be a monster or a manipulator, remember that jail is supposed to be a time to reflect on the crime, and an opportunity to change. People do change, and even people with less than perfect backgrounds deserve love too.
With the type of studying that you are doing, you would be able to get into someones head alot easier than someone without your training. You will make the best decision, the right decision for yourself. Dont doubt yourself on this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): I am sorry that your new found love is a prisoner. One thing I have come to know is that every man in prison is innocent and wrongly convicted. Your guy a convict now and you need to realize that and like most of them they can prove it. If you want to waste your time waiting on a man that is convicted of one of the worst crime to mankind than that your option, but don't make this person into a victim all over again.
You should know better, yet you're letting emotion misguide your judgment. I think you need to withdraw yourself from this guy and let him work his way through the court systems. I am sure he'll me many more court appearances.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 The only correct thing to do is to thank him for the compliment, but not make anything else out of it. Take is as the complement it is, and for now leave it at that. What he will do when he is a free man is yet to be seen. And you should also wait until he is a free man to actually accept any dates.
If he wants an answer you can tell him you think it is best to wait and see, and for him to be a free man before you discuss anything like that. After all, while he is in prison, and who knows for how long, he can not take you for an actual date. And even if he likes you and you like him, it is best to have a proper date first and get to know each other not as psychiatrist and inmate, but as boy and girl.
For now it would also be grounds for getting you fired from your job if you take this any further. I am pretty sure you aren't allowed to form relationship with the inmates as you are in an authoritative position over them (much like teacher and student).
...............................
A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (17 October 2010):
Nobody in their right mind will believe this question is genuine.
...............................
|
