A
female
age
51-59,
*admum
writes:im in a relationship with some one i dont love any more and im in love with some one else,ive decided to leave my partner but i dont know were to start,i have two young lads no money what do i do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Well I have read what other people have wrote & think it's a load of crap. If you don't love him then you simply don't love him & there could be many reasons behind this but you can't help how you feel, Yes you have kids and yes you have to think about there needs but how are you going to be 100% there for them if you aren't happy, your happiness counts too & life is to short, if you are happy your kids will pick up on that & you can't just fake it, if you have tried to work it out with your husband but it's just not getting anywhere then I guess you should leave & I am sure you will explain it properly to your children, some times in life things just don't work out & you shouldn't stay just for your kids that will make it worse, Look there is alot of help out there if you really want to leave, just look on line, ask friends, there is centrelink, there are ways... I wish you all the best
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): I can understand just how you feel. You have stop loving your bloke and yet you have two lads. You only live once so you have to sit down and think this through properly. You can either get a place for you and your lads and go solo and bring them up yourself. Or, stick it out until the lads are old enough to move on by themselves. Or, talk to your bloke and try and put some spark back into your relationship. I wouldnt consider leaving your kids with their dad, that will come back and haunt you in the future and you wont ever feel 100% happy with the outcome.
But life is just too short to be unhappy for the majority of it.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): It is not that easy. is it...Loving someone not loving him any more and further starting to love someone with kids and no money.
Is it love or sex? Did you decieve him already?
I dont think you are a responsible person. I dont think you are a responsible mum.
at all. How did you find the time and energy to love someone else!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): If he's not beating you and/or your kids up or extremely verbally abusing you, you need to rethink this. You may want to seek counseling. But remember past relationships or others you know, new lovers are flashy and great, till they are no longer shiny and new. And very possibly your lover may leave you once you leave your man and kids because now they have to commit to you, and that will be scary for them. We all go through times where we question "is this what I want in life?" Sometimes we need to be strong and stick it out because of the past, of history we've created, of those who rely upon us most (like your kids), and we need to suck it up and push forward and FIND a way to make things better. You may not feel fluttery when you look at your man, but your head should tell you he's been there, hopefully he'll stay here, and we will together face the world and everything that comes our way. Also, loss of feelings for someone is nothing compared to if he died tomorrow, and you lost him forever.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 Well, you've made your choice. Give the kids to the father and go have your romance. Your lover should be happy to support you. Your kids and husband can move on. What did you do to work on the relationship before you cheated?
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 What you do, and I say this because you have two kids that depend on you is stick it out with your husband (I'm making an assumption). Your kids don't need the complications that are caused by their parents breaking up. When the kids turn 18 and out of the nest, then you can move out on your husband.
Your thinking about yourself right now, and when you make a decision like that affects your kids not only emotionally, but financially as you put it, then you are just being irresponsible. Your first commitment is with your kids, and its up to you to keep the family together not destroy it. You don't even explain yourself when you say you don’t love your husband anymore....Short of abusing you and treating you bad, your husband is still your husband and its your duty to put on a smile and find a place in your heart for him. If it’s not working you still have to fake it. When you have kids that’s what you have to do.
The kids come first.
AS for this other guy in the picture, if you need him to satisfy your sexual needs, then so be it. I'm not judging you on that. There are times when cheating if under control is ok. Have this guy on the side, but don’t let it interfere with your family. If he can't accept that break up with him. Again, your family comes first!
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