A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Before I go into details as to why I'm asking this question. Let me first ask the question aha, exactly how right am I for deciding this? You see, I am a sixteen year old girl, you know I'm young but a lot of people, well, grown ups say I'm mature for my age. My acting teacher said I was fifty in a fourteen year old body .But I am so outwardly silly, obscenely silly, however I am able to explain myself more clearly when I use written word. because, well, I am not talking.(This goes for text as well). I go to a creative arts school for creative writing(Though I wish to join theatre next year) and at this school there is a boy who is a joy and a heartbreak to me.(Get ready you may begin to despise him). He is a year younger than me, french/japanese, and very intelligent and handsomeI am fond of him(however you could say that I feel more than fond of him in your answer if it feels that way to you) But yes, I love his character, um, I appreciated his way of thinking but then I despise it. I will tell you why, it is because he claims to read people like books, right?So we were texting and he tells me about the way I speak(this is after a few weeks of knowing each other) He basically says that because I am in creative writing that I should speak a certain way. He says that when he speaks with me he feels like he's speaking to a primary schooler, a baboon(yes he said that) I sorely disagree with his statement, just because I'm in creative writing does not mean I should let that define my character. I speak the way I want you know? It is part of my freedom as a citizen of the U.S. If I wish to use slag I will, If I wish to curse, I will(within reason of course) but you get what I mean right? So I explain to him that he is just starting to get to know me and the only reason he gets that impression is because we've never had a serious one on one conversation before(we usually just ...well, lolligag) and that I am much better at expressing myself through the written word. And so now he goes into calling me a bizarre otaku and I tell him he will soon become fond of that part of me( now this is the part where you may not like him) he replies that he doubts he will saying that he's met hundreds like me and will meet hundreds more. He describes me as a book that hasn't made him think.Now, this is why I like him. I see through all of that crap he's pulling over himself(not in a, ohhhh I love him still way) but in a "in due time things will fall into place" kind of way. I appreciate how he does not sugarcoat, like, I value that in a companion, yeah, I like him a lot. However, it is just that his current perception of me is unsettling because he barely knows me, but I feel like as we spend more time together he will eventually see that I am not only what comes out of my mouth, but I am also what doesn't come out of mouth(like what I write or what I do). And like the rest, he will become fond of me( Though I'm well aware that might not happen). Though what I've decided to do with him, I feel as though since I am a 'baboon' to him when I speak, I owe him no other words except those of which he receives through text or through the other languages he speaks. And I will continue to focus on my art and my school work, and those who accept me for who I am in the meantime. But yes, as of now, I owe the boy no spoken words that are not of meaning, not saying ill compromise my character just for that, but yeah. I am sorry for this long thing, but yes, in your answer, please inform me of any error my decision may have. Thank you.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 September 2012):
 Honey he MAY see you the way he expresses it. You MAY think you are more sophisticated and advanced maturity wise then you perhaps are. Understand that he may "think" he can read everyone like a book, but in reality (at his/your age) that just isn't even realistic. He might be a decent judge of character for his age group, but he is no Yoda (if you get my meaning).
I agree with Cindy, I honestly think this guy "thinks" he has you pegged because he is a tad intimidated by you. And it's easier to "classify you" then to try and actually "get" you.
One thing though, a LOT of young people do really consider how a text can be misconstrued due to slang, cussing, abbreviation, typos and honestly... bad grammar. When I talk to a daughter of a friend of mine (this girl is 22, mind you) she actually sounds less mature then my youngest daughter who is 10 and less intelligent then a rock. Sure she can shoot of a text fast but I tell you, I some times wonder how the heck she graduated with THAT kind of poor language skills.
So.. Consider when you text that there is someone READING what you write. Someone you want to express something to. And HOW you type/text DOES make the person receiving the text "judge" - JUST like you judge him for being so "in your face" with his interpretation.
However, YOU need to BE who you are. IF he can't see that you are a good and creative person, it's really HIS loss.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 Oh I think he likes you ,instead . I bet he does. He is impressed.
In primary school, if a boy always pulls the braids of a girl, you can be sure he has a crush on her. Now, with all due respect... a few years have passed ( not that many !),but that's still the same technique : braid pulling. The verbal sparring, the battle of quips and retorts,...he wants to get a reaction out of you. And he does because you half irritate him, half intrigue him - you interest him. A book that did not make him think,uh ? What a lie. He is thinking allright, - only, maybe he does not even realizes it yet. He may be smooth and sophisticated for a 15 y.o., what with his studies and international background ,...but still not enough to fool old Aunt Cindy .
BUT : and that's the part you won't like , and please if you can ,don't take it the wrong way:
I think you can still be yourself, and tune it down quite a bit. Not just to make him fond of you- just for yourself in general. To
purge from all impurities what could be a shining diamond, let's say :).
By reading your post, one gets the impression of someone a bit mentally hyper , all over the place, and over the top. A kind of very scattered energy. And a tiny bit of navel gazing : I am this way , I am that way ... Relax. As you say yourself, you are just starting knowing yourself , you don't even know who you are and who you will become , don't label yourself and don't try so hard to be a certain artsy, quirky persona. That you ALSO are, but I bet you can also be , if needs be, simple, calm, mature, reflexive, less impulse driven.
You can watch what comes out of your mouth and adequate it to the circumstances and interlocutors without betraying yourself or your essence.
You say you are silly, obscenely silly - and do you HAVE to be ? Always ? Is it something you have no control over ? In this case, I pity you, it's like an illness. But I don't believe you, I just think you haven't realized that there 's no need to ALWAYS be the official court jester.
Sure darling you live in a free country , and you are free to talk any way you want - same as people are free to find it annoying or boring or inappropriate.
Why not looking for a happy medium by which expressing yourself without resulting maybe heavy - particularly for the people that you want to make fond of you ? :)
You have not considered that you may actually be a bit overwhelming for a guy with his specific roots and upbringing. His Japanese reserve and self-control may actually get SCARED by your disorderly verbal effusiveness ( the baboon thing ) - and as for his French half, well,yes, French are very expressive and outgoing, and they appreciate sense of humour and conversation, but probably not in your unbridled way , French middle class has traditionally a real "horreur" of anything that's too out there, too irrational, too...too much.
In other words, I have got the feeling that you may be a bit intimidating, a bit overwhelming for this guy.
But... you impressed him, mark my words :).
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (25 September 2012):
You want him to like you and you know it can't be forced. Good.
I think he sounds somewhat rude and arrogant, with a high opinion of himself. So I question why you are so bothered about him.
You are quite right to focus on your studies and mix with those you like and who like you.
The bigger issue is that you will indeed be judged in life by a) your initial appearance and b) what you say and how you say it. So if your communication style is something that is going to hold you back, address that now and let people see the best in you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): I'm sorry to give you a wake up call, but this guy is a jerk, he is not pulling crap, he is full of crap and he even has an ego the size of a mountain. He insults you, then further insults you and you gush about him on your post..
If you think a guy demoralising any female(including you) or just another person is Fab, then I'm sorry to say I pity your future relationships.
Like all creative types you are a romantic, and more a fool if you think he will change his short nosed opinion of you and become as you put fond of you. You do not know him and from what you've told me if I was you... I wouldn't want to get to know him
Take care.
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