A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so I am 16 years old and I have liked this guy for 2 years now. Well, I think I might be in love with him. He has no idea that I am, but there is such a confusing story behind it and it’s getting so emotionally draining that I just need the best possible help and advice from someone who really knows who they’re talking about.So, I started liking this guy 2 years ago as I had said. Why did I like him? He was funny and confident and it was just something about him I just really, really liked, and I know he liked me back. At the beginning, we met up frequently with our friends and would have a cheeky smooch pretty much all the time whether it was when we met up or at different parties. Then the next day he would text me, we would talk for a bit and that would be it. He would just fall off the face off the earth just like that and leave me wandering what had happened. Did I do something wrong? He clearly doesn’t like me otherwise he would be chasing me right? I know that he was the type of guy that would do that because of his confidence with girls. It would really break my heart if I saw him get with others girls at parties, and leave me sad for months afterwards. It would genuinely just be this viscous cycle with him, I would see him, get with him, then not hear a single thing from him until I next saw him. Sometimes if I saw him again he would be rude to me, would try to avoid me at all costs like nothing ever happened? Maybe I didn’t chase him enough? Maybe I played it too cool and I didn’t say enough? This vicious cycle has been going on for 2 years now. Anyway, recently this guy I was secretly in love with started going out with this horrible girl that goes to my school. She is in the popular group at school and I know that they take a strong dislike to me, despite the fact I have never done anything to them. They would shout at me in the corridors and constantly take the Mickey out of me like I was a joke. I felt so uncomfortable at school that when I found out that the boy I really liked was going out with her my heart genuinely sank. I had to see them at parties kissing and being all affectionate and she knew I liked this boy as well. At school they would purposely talk about him in front of me just to annoy me. I was so heart broken. No one understood how much I loved him. Then, something happened. After a party, my friend that I was supposed to go home with disappeared and accidently left the party without me. I had nowhere to go, and the only people that were left were this guy I liked and his friend. The guy offered me to stay at his house and I did. He ended up cheating on the horrible girl with me! I’m not sure whether this means he does still have some feelings for me or he just did it because he felt like doing it. Even though this girl had treated me badly, I still felt really guilty about the whole situation, especially as she still doesn’t know. But now we haven’t spoken properly since then and now he’s broken up with this girl. Shall I do something now that I have the chance? Shall say anything? I don’t want to leave it and regret it. I’m so confused. This guy can be a complete tool sometimes and would do stuff that would annoy me like flirting with my best friends right in front of me so it doesn’t surprise me he cheated on her. I am just so confused what to do. If I told him the way I feel I’m not sure how he would react. What also worries me is that he is quite popular as well and I’m worried he would just tell his friends about it and laugh. Some people say he isn’t worth it, and if he cheated on bay there is no doubt he would do the same to me, but others agree that if I truly do love him, I shouldn’t give up because we have always had some special thing. Please tell me what the best thing to do is. This is been going on for too long and I want something to happen between us instead of this cycle we always have.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 April 2014):
 I agree with Uncle Wise.
He has had 2 YEARS to get with you and he hasn't. If you tell him now that you have a crush on him or really like him, he is going to DO to you, what he does with all the other girls, USE you and move on.
He is not as great of a guy as you want him to be.
Still I get a good crush (even a long term one, been there done that). I would look elsewhere for a BF then him, he isn't it. He is still at the phase where he thinks the MORE girls he scores the "bigger" the guy he is. Which mean YOU would only be a "notch in his bed post".
The popular girl who tormented you would be all over you. Whatever she has done to you so far, would be 10 fold afterwards. Girls like that are often VERY insecure and think they HAVE to put other girls down to make themselves feel better. You would walk around with a bulls-eye on your forehead.
My guess is, THE guy you crush on TOLD her that he think YOU like him. And she has been watching how you react when she riles you up. She knows and she doesn't like "competition" or "interference".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): If anything could be considered your "fault", it would be that you naively let him use you for smooching. That's not shocking because you liked him, so you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.
Just let him go; he was never interested in anything more from you and it would be best for you to forget him and move on :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice and being honest.
In the past this guy has told me he liked me and did ask to meet up a couple of times and we did. He even told my friend he did used to like me but said he 'had to move on' which is why i wonder if it was my fault the fact i hadn't done anything to pursue it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): I know how much you like him, but he has had two years to let you know if he liked you. All this time that you've known him, he has never tried to hangout with you or asked you out.
You don't say if he ever once told you he liked you. I think he just likes being with the popular crowd, and only wants to be seen with popular girls.
I don't like the fact he is rude to you, and you say he's a tool.
If people tell you that he would be bad for you, you should listen. You know first-hand how he misbehaves, and he just disappears without a word to you in the meantime. I don't think he cares about you in the same way you feel about him. He cheated on his girlfriend with you. Not a word from him afterwards to let you know if he likes you. That is not a good sign.
I know you feel deeply about him, and you've been crushing a long time. So it would be hard to just stop and move on.
I don't think you will like my advice. I think you will probably listen to someone who tells you to go for him. I'm going to be honest. I don't think he is right for you, I think he will cheat on you; and ultimately, he is going to break your heart.
He hasn't even tried to take you out in the two years he has known you, he just "secretly" snuggles and gives you kisses on the cheek; as if he is ashamed that anyone should know he likes you. I don't think he wants the popular girls to see him with you. They would torment you and he knows it.
His ex-girlfriend would be horrible to you.
I really think you would be better off to just stay away from him, and let the crush wear off. If I thought he was as much into you, as you are into him; I would encourage you to tell him how you feel. I can't do that.
He's not shy, and he goes for what he wants. He hasn't done that for you. Girls are always drawn to bad boys. You can't tell them anything. You have to let them find out the hard way. They have to get burned.
Take whatever advice you feel is best. I just hope he doesn't hurt your feelings. I hope you had safe-sex the night he was with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): If it helps you to move on if you tell him, go for it - but don't expect anything more to come of it. Smooching once at a party means he may like you, but repeatedly means that's all he wants from you.
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