A
male
age
,
*m1962
writes:To make a long story short, I almost cheated due to testosterone levels yet I didnt. I came clean via email and said that I'd like to talk. Now I must explain myself.I figger that my b/f at the moment is crunching on this since he has not responded and the wait is killing me.I don't expect to get an answer back very soon, so I'd like to prepare for our talk in the meantime.My strategy has always been to be honest, and its somewhat difficult to "talk" with this man since we don't normally have to. There really have never been any "issues". We have always simply let it be what it is over the past 5 months.Now with me almost cheating its definitely time to define exactly where we are going. I think that I was tempted due to this "talk" not having happened yet. I'm the most loyal person that I know so I've thrown myself for a loop over this.Does that sound like a good way to initiate our talk? To say I was getting cold feet over not having "talked" This man is quite shy, so I'll have to initiate the conversation.
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male
reader, mm1962 +, writes (31 October 2009):
mm1962 is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Let us be a bit dickish so you are getting the harshness from people that really don't matter and you will never see. Then you will be all lined up for the real deal when you and he hook up
LOL - truer words were never spoken IMHO.
Odd that the two folks who I perceive to be the least judgmental would be the first to apologize for it. BTW - I was speaking "in general" from what I've seen and not necessarily my case specifically. Still, thanks are in order for true quality attention.
Update: Now I gotta deal with saying thankyou as I cannot thank him enough for understanding. Already had part of our "talk" over email. Some important groundrules were agreed upon.
I think he should be more pissed. Delighted 'tho I am, I feel like I should display remorse and humbleness, rather than being too chipper happy over it. After all I was naughty, yes?
Again, don't get me wrong. I'm definitely not acting, just *never* thought I'd be in this situation, so blindsided.
A
male
reader, mm1962 +, writes (31 October 2009):
mm1962 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs much as I truly appreciate all the feedback and 99% of it is very helpful...
...it seems to me that there is a pre-judgment that I was predisposed to lying. I haven't lied before this mishap, and didn't plan on lying to get out of it. I was asking help with a tactful way of addressing the truth without hurting people and without creating too much drama.
Sad that perhaps many would see others as choosing to lie before exploring other options.
And I agree about how one lie necessitates a family of lies to cover up, and so on, etc...
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A
male
reader, mm1962 +, writes (30 October 2009):
mm1962 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL. I'm quite delighted to report that my confession was responded to with a thank-you.
And there is no worry about it. He was understanding and said that he didn't blame me since we can't get together very often. He said he'd tell me if he were to want to do anything and appreciates me coming from the same place.
Now I've got the advantage of having this good advice and feedback to help me with the "talk" that is inevitable due to this mishap.
Thanks for the heads up. I *almost* attributed it to testosterone, but didn't want to disrespect his understanding with a cop-out and blame-shifting. I was simply honest and communicated exactly how I feel.
Unbelievable relief here.
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