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I've compromised so much he now thinks he is always right!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 February 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *irgin18 writes:

Sometimes one thinks the best way of dealing with disagreements is by compromising, so much that you change a lot of what it is "You" in hopes that the other would do the same. It's like that Fergie song, "Meet Me Halfway", but what happens if one compromises so much that the other person doesn't see his faults anymore? When you decide to agree with him so much that he always thinks he ir right? What then?

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (26 February 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntHate to say this, but when one person has more power in the relationship, it will be nearly impossible to get it back. He knows he is running the show on most things, so why would he start to compromise now, especially if he never had to in the past because you caved in?

If you feel that you have changed as a person and that you have abandoned some of your principles and things you stand for - that's a red flag. This indicated that your boyfriend is NOT compatible with you. Take it as a lesson learned and don't let men talk you into things you don't want, or accept. I don't think this relationship is salvageable.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012):

Then it's time that you stop compromising and start communicating and holding your ground.

When one person automatically comprises or gives in, all the time, that means you're essentially avoiding communicating because it's easier just to give in to the other person.

For good relationships between equals, both parties have to compromise, not just one.

Also if you always give in as a way of resolving disagreements but while you're really not satisfied with the outcome, then you're actually not being honest with the other person. So if the other person now believes that they have no faults, or everything is fine the way it is, you're partly to blame for that.

Only unequal relationships (like boss/employee, teacher-student) can survive with one person giving in most of the time to the other.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (26 February 2012):

janniepeg agony auntThen you would resent him and feel like you have to bend your ways to please him. It depends on why you feel like you have to compromise so much. If you compromise because you are basically an easy going person and the issue is no big deal then it's okay. If you compromise in order to keep peace then the power is lopsided. You have to determine a list of things that are absolutely off limits to you. For me, that's drinking, smoking and partying until the wee hours. These are things you decide early on in the relationship. You don't go deep into a relationship to argue about things that can't be changed. A couple with too many disagreements are incompatible, and shouldn't be in a relationship at the first place.

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