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male
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*abyboy
writes: hello i am in a deep situation and i need some very truthful advise. I have been cheating on my 4 years girlfriend and with another girl for 8 months and now the 8 month girl is pregnant but i dont wanna be with her and i dont know how to tell my 4 year girlfriend but i wanna be with her and leave the baby mother but yet take care my child. What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2006): How about wear a condom so you don't contract a sexually transmitted disease and pass it onto your unsuspecting girlfriend. Ever think of that? By your own actions you may have handed her a death sentence instead of a step child. Good luck explaining that one.
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 Hey BabyBoy? Time to start growing up and taking responsability for you actions, don't you think?
First of all, be truthful with the four year hirl. Tell her everything and tell her how ashamed you are of yourself. Then go and talk to the 8 month girl and tell her everything, does she actually know you were in a Relationship? I think you should take care of your child and still see the one you truly want to be with. If they are ganuine ladies the'yy understand you want to be a good Daddy and a good boyfriend.
All The Best, Learn From Your Choices
Phoebe xxx
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 Time to start being honest, don't you think?
First, come clean to both women. Tell them both everything. Your longterm girlfriend deserves to know that you've been cheating behind her back (and exposing both of you to possible STIs), and that you're going to be a father to another woman's child. Your "bit on the side" deserves to know that you only regarded her as a sex-toy and don't have any interest in a real relationship with her.
You WILL cop it from both of these women, and honestly, I think you deserve it. There's almost no chance that your longterm girlfriend will want you back, knowing what you've been doing, so brace yourself for the worst. Your pregnant booty-call will almost certainly insist that you be involved in your baby's life for the next several decades, so expect that too.
The next thing you need to sort out is your child's financial support, so I'd recommend that you speak to a legal professional to find out what your responsibilities are, so that the Government doesn't step in and start garnishing your wages for overdue child support, for instance.
Finally, you really need to keep your sausage to yourself for a good long while, until you can sort out what you want from a relationship. Women are not just "mobile vaginas", sent down from Heaven for your pleasure! You're hurting people and screwing up lives with the way that you've been (mis)behaving. Decide if you're ready to commit your feelings and time to ONE woman before you drop your daks next time!
From my perspective, you sound very young and naive and I'd guess you're no more than about 18 years old, which is about ten years too young to be saddled with the responsibility of kids, but there you go. You must have been aware, at some level, that this could happen, and now it's a mess that yours to sort out.
Please, please, get some mature guidance. Don't rely on a bunch of smug know-alls on an advice website for what you need to do in the longer term. You need some experts to help you out. Check out "legal advise" in your local phone book, and start there. Next, talk to your local government welfare services, to find out about parenting classes, and free financial advice. These are things you're going to NEED.
Best of luck, young friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2006): WTF were you doing with your girlfriend when you were humping someone else?!?! I really don't get why people do that - be in a relationship with someone and cheat at the same time... Be a man for once (FOR ONCE at LEAST) and face up to the fact you have to take responsibility for both! I hope that girlfriend of yours dump your ass!
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (12 April 2006):
 Firstly you should never have cheated in the first place, secondly you should have made sure you used some form of contraception if you weren't ready to be a father!
You have made a mess of things and you need to tell your girlfriend of 4 years the situation. You may find she dumps you, but you took a gamble on your relationship the first time you had sex (especially unprotected sex) with another woman.
Apart from the pregancy, you could have given your long term girlfriend an STD, I suppose I'm right in assuming you were sleeping with them both.
You have to hope your long term girlfriend has a forgiving nature, but don't bank on it, you have betrayed her in a terrible way, and she will be justifiably hurt and angry.
You also have a responcibity to the child you have fathered, and I hope you will take these seriously, whether you end up with the mother or not.
Time to sit these women down and face the music.
Good Luck, I think you'll need it!
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