A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am a 27 year old woman who is totally heartbroken. Ive been in love with this guy for 11 years, we met young and started a sexual relationship. We never really dated officially, but our connection was really strong. After a year of hooking up he just ignored me. I then met my partner who i have been with for 10 years things were great for the first year then the ex started to contact me again. Im ashamed to say that i cheated on my boyfriend with the other guy on and off for 7 years. Dont get me wrong i really love my boyfriend but feel that im in love with two people. A lot went on as i was caught by my boyfriend with the other guy (not sexual , went for a drink). I havent seen the other guy for approx 2 years and he hasnt tried to contact me but i cannot get him out of my mind. I need to know what i should do as my boyfriend is now thinking about getting married.
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cheated on my boyfriend, heartbroken Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, almally  +, writes (6 September 2007):
Sorry that you are so heartbroken. You don't need to be. Let uncle Al advise you: Which one makes you feel better? Which one makes you the happiest? That is the one that you should choose, regardless of the consequences or the circumstances. YOU are the most important part of this equation! Go for what makes you the happiest, and don't look back!
A
male
reader, In love with God's creation +, writes (4 September 2007):
My perception of human nature is we do what we do regardless of what morality might wants us to do, no feelings or hurt we can give to everyone around us will stop us from doing what we want to do, ur not a kid, ur 27, Yes, ur wrong, but before u realize that no matter what whoever says what, u will not stop, so go on and on and when u realize u will writting down as I am here to u alone. For the time-being chill! cause the world is so full of love and good people, me and u are minor.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): I think you know what to do. You need to choose one guy and stick with him. You have obviously got a connection with the first guy and that will probably never go away. However it will get weaker as time goes on. Whoever you chose you should do it soon because the longer you wait the harder it gets. Finally you need to get closer from the one you chose to leave; otherwise you will never be able to get him out of your head. You are still young and i think that you should go with the one that makes you the happiest.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 You should not get married. You're not a good candidate for the role of wife. You do not love your boyfriend enough. Nothing could be more clear. If you really loved him, you wouldn't be in bed with another guy.
If you think you're heart broken, imagine how your boyfriend will feel when he finds out you sleep with other men. Is there any chance you've passed on any STD's. I'm glad you're ashamed, it's an appropriate feeling and shows some remorse. Not only have you used your boyfriend and been dishonest, you've risked his health.
Your issues might run deeper than you know. You say you're in love with a guy you haven't seen in two years. Has it occurred to you he's not interested in your love? If he is, he chooses a strange way to show it. What makes you chase something that is out of reach?
Your boyfriend deserves to enter into marriage with someone who respects him and what a relationship means. He has never had the relationship with you that he thought he did. He's deciding to marry you based on lies and deception. He can not possibly make a choice when he's totally in the dark about who you really are.
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