A
male
age
41-50,
*ennie
writes:my wife had one afair, not a one night stand, after i had cheated for 6 years and while she was pregnant. We are suppose to put all this behind us but what i didnt tell you is ive been lying to my wife, telling her im going to the bank, then i go to my wifes friend. this is not the first time my wife has found out about this but i denied it. I tell my wife i love her but i still hurt her. She forgave me for all my cheating but why cant i forgive her for one time?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 September 2011):
 Wait a minute.
" We are suppose to put all this behind us but what i didnt tell you is ive been lying to my wife, telling her im going to the bank, then i go to my wifes friend."
Are you saying you're still cheating??? Please explain.
So your wife had an affair and you cheated on her for 6 years while she was pregnant with your child. I'd say you two are pretty even.
Unless you have more to confess to her, might as well clear your conscience now, it's time to forgive her for her infidelity. I think you need to own up to a few more dirty secrets before you start the process of forgiveness. Because you haven't come completely honest with her, you may think she's still holding back more dirty secrets too.
Be honest with your wife. If not you have a marriage that's based off of lies.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (4 September 2011):
 Men are less forgiving in general when it comes to cheating, since they're more territorial and treat women as something that is theirs. Aside from that, have you ever thought that it's your way of making your cheating more acceptable to your own self? If you think she did you wrong, you may not feel so guilty when you cheat on her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): Because you don't think that YOUR constant cheating on your wife is wrong or the behaviour of a diehard sleazebag, you only think it's wrong if SHE cheats!! And man, you just CAN'T believe or get over the fact that she ever had the cheek to cheat on such a wonderful and perfect person as your handsome self! Such a pity your wife wasn't the one to ask for our advice, because I'm sure most aunts would be telling her to dump such a serial cheater as a husband. You aren't ever going to change, so why not do her a favour and move out and oh, I'd also suggest staying single thereafter so you don't hurt any other poor woman.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 September 2011):
 I'd guess that you're angry with YOURSELF... because she has taken a much-higher road than you have (she's forgiven you)..... and the only way you know how to react to your anger is to direct it at someone else (your unfortunate wife)... since you can't imagine that you are less-than-perfect and capable of forgiving someone else.Good luck...
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