A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my fiance have been together for 2 and a half years. 6 months ago we moved into a flat with his brother and his brothers fiance. I got a job so I could move in and all was ok. The job is ridiculous hours but needed to pay the rent and I'm always exhausted and sick all the time from it, my weekends are spent asleep because I have no energy. It started to wear me down and I started to resent the house as I found out they didn't even put me on the contract so technically I don't even live here yet I do most of the cleaning and tidying.I feel like I live with my fiance but we hardly ever see each other... when we do were both angry and upset or highly strung. it's turned into a nightmare where I cry everyday wishing I could go back to my family home.Should I?
View related questions:
fiance, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (12 August 2015):
 Like everyone else has already said, speak to your parents about moving back in with them. If they agree, then start quietly bringing your stuff over to their place until the BIG DAY.
I don't know how your boyfriend and the others are going to handle it, but the quicker and easier you can get out the better for everyone.
And as someone already suggested, don't leave anything behind with promises to pick it up later. Any loyalty to you and your stuff will vanish once you're gone, and they don't want to provide free storage for someone who is no longer paying rent.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 August 2015):
 Seems like they "allowed" you to move in to lower their costs and get a "free" maid on top.
Call your parents, if they are OK with it, move back home.
As for having a job, KEEP working, keep earning YOUR KEEP which means when you move back home you PAY your parents some money for rent/food etc. YOU are over 18 and considered a grown up, so act like one, even with your parents. If this job sucks you HAVE to option to look for another one. One with "better" hours.
Make sure you also start saving, so If you and your fiance stay together, you will be able to help buy a place later on.
Oh and you don't have to give the people who live there a lot of notice, just let them know (if you parents say yes, come home) that you are moving out. Just make sure you don't leave stuff behind.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 August 2015):
 Yes, call your folks now and ask them if its okay. As for your fiance just put any plans to marry on hold for a while, it doesn't sound like he is ready for such a big committment yet.
Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 August 2015):
Yes.
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2015): Ummm...Can you?For me, that's the question rather than "Should I?" Re-phrase it and ask "Can I?" The question you need to pose is to your parents,of course.I'm sure they are not expecting you to stay at the family home forever.That said you are still young so if they are happy to let you do and you are happy-do it. I'd go back with an aim though-like saving enough cash to not have to ask this favour again.I also think they might expect you to "grow up" and be able to deal with those situations (bad job, not a great bf) by yourself (they'd probably like to know that you can,just for when they are not there and you have no "net" so to speak).In your shoes, I'd keep the job, ditch the bf, move either with parents or rent a room with friends/sharing websites and look for a new job.Also, you are young enough (but also old enough-22?) to start thinking about a career. Honestly, you should have been thinking about that since you were 16 (and I myself started very late and still haven't got my footing,as I thought family was important,not a career. I was wrong. Learn from my mistakes. A great career will give you a great deal of independence and money can solve several of your issues.e.g. don't wanna clean? Hire a cleaner. You've got the dosh. Don't wanna share and be treated as the live-in maid? Move out and live by yourself. You've got the dosh.etc. etc. You get the gist. Money does not solve all of your problems,but it really does make more mundane ones much,much easier).So,yeah,my advice would be-get your career in order, possibly ditch the maid-accustomed user (sorry,bf) and then look for someone who likes spending time with you. Not someone who is "high-strung" or "irritated" JUST because you are around! In the same house as him! Jeez! What does he expect? That you do your "chores" and disappear into thin air like Dobby?
...............................
|
