A
female
age
41-50,
*isqueen
writes: Ok.. How can I sum this up... My fiancé and I are head over heels in love with each other, we have been together for 4 years. We have made it through some pretty hard times, the first year of our relationship, which in the end made us so much stronger. I'm extremely sensitive, not only to my own feelings but the entire worlds haha.. I have a big heart.. My fiancé.. He been hurt since his childhood so he only has love for the people in his household.His fantasy is for me to be with another man.. Mine is for him to be with another woman.. He of course loves my fantasy.. And I have no desire to be with another man, but have no issues with it if it excites him,.. It excites me. Our problems in the beginning resulted in him being unfaithful and dishonest. It ended by time I found out but I left him because there was no trust at that point. After a few months, I decided to give him another chance, and I've never been so happy in my life. He makes me feel like the most amazing person in the world (let me add... Our fantasies were not discussed until we got back together) I do trust him now.. And I think I'm ready to fulfill our fantasies.. But I'm so worried.. What if I can't handle him being with another woman, what if it makes me think about the past? I make him talk to me during sex as if I were someone else... As wrong as that may sound to some people, it excites me. I'm concerned, what if the actual act happens, and it breaks my heart. A broken heart is a hard thing to overcome... Heeeeeeelp haha
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015): I've said this before. In your head, fantasies can be edited and controlled to your own satisfaction; and created according to your own imagination. The fade to black when you waken from them.
Once they come into the the world of reality, they have a life of their own. You can no longer predict the outcome, or how the characters will play their parts.
Keep it all in your head. If he cheated on you before, and you forgave him. Don't give him permission to cheat again. Then it's your fault.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 August 2015):
 Fantasies work just fine when they remain fantasies.... HOWEVER.... fantasies which include more than just the two people who started them (the fantasies) are HIGH RISK....
You can - and will - do as you wish. But, don't be surprised if acting out these fantasies (one, or both of them) will result in the end of this relationship.
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2015): It always fascinates me how one can claim to be in a perfect relationship and yet be so willing to risk it all - for what? Two hours of (hopefully) fun?
For two hours you would be willing to risk the trust and intimacy you've built? Why?! Is it worth it? For two hours of having a random person's genitalia you would throw away a possible lifetime with your fiance?
I had the same fantasy as you but made it clear to my significant other that I love him too much to share. What we have is too special to taint with people who are meaningless to my existence. What we have are two souls entwined that twist, stretch and grow in perfect harmony. No amount if sexual fun warrants risking losing that. We have no regrets and we fall in love s little more each day with each other.
Can you tell me what you stand to gain from this? And how significant it is to your existence? Truly, I would like to know.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 August 2015):
 It probably will break your heart. Fantasy is fine as a fantasy but when the real world colides with it nothing good can come of it. Don't act on tese fantasies. They will corrupt the goodness you have right now.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (11 August 2015):
You say that it is your fantasy for him to be with another woman.
I don't believe you. Your horrible fear of it happening tells a different story. I think he's either pressed you into this idea or you've sort of pressed yourself into it based on his fantasy. And I think it is only a fantasy for him because it will give him a license to cheat.
I don't recommend doing any of it. Of course you can, and will, get your heart broken if he does this. It's written between the lines throughout your post. You don't want to do this. Don't do something you are so uncomfortable with because you think it will help you keep your man.
If I didn't WANT to sleep with a man there's no way I would. You'll regret it.
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