A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Things haven't been too great for us over the past three months. He told me three months ago that while we were dating early on he kissed another girl a couple of times and considered dating another girl who really liked him, but he never did anything with her. Anyway..he told me about 9 months into our dating, and i was completely shocked and heartbroken. I trusted him from day one, and never knew he would do this to me. I even asked him back in july if he had ever cheated on his girlfriends, and he said no..lied straight to my face. so for the past 3 months i've been trying to deal with it because we love each other, except i feel like its not the same between us anymore. He's sorry and wishes he didn't do it, but I get annoyed with him and sometimes i think there's someone better for me out there. We're on a break right now, and i've been having a hard time with it, but i know eventually i'm probably going to break up with him. We've been on a break for a few days, and everyday i feel like i get a little bit stronger and feel like i'll be ok without him. I still love him, but not how i used to. And even though i'm still angry and hurt by him, i think that one day i'd like to be friends and be able to have a conversation on the phone. I don't want him to disappear from my life, and i'm afraid that if we break up, he won't want me around at all because it will be too hard to deal with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): Hey, I just want you to know that I understand how you feel. I guess sometimes knowing that people are going through the same thing as you makes you feel stronger. About a week before my boyfriend asked me out, he was considering going out with someone else. He didn't tell me until about a year and half into our relationship and it hurt me alot. It's still hard now and he takes me for granted. Don't go back to this guy, he sounds like he'll do exactly the same.
The fact that you were "dating" isn't an excuse. It doesn't matter if he doesn't consider it cheating, if he is saying to you that he has feelings for you and at the same time is going off with other people, forget it. Trust is a fundamental part of any working relationship, and it's pretty obvious you won't feel comfortable being with him again.
If he was happy to treat you that way back then, he could do the same now.
You seem like a bright, intelligent girl. Don't go back to a loser like him. Treat yourself, change your hair, go out and be pampered. Feel good about yourself.
Find someone who really deserves you.
Megan x
A
female
reader, PortugueseGal  +, writes (4 April 2007):
well erm, im not a professional.
ill try though. dont make him take your for a fool. if you give him one chance he'll do it again and hes think "oh she's soft let me go and have sex with this girl and that" then tell u hes sorry. dont take any S*** from any guy. go and find the right guy. if he likes u annd u for sure liek him then ur made for each other
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): I don't know the exact details you shouldn't let this small thing come between you, the fact you said it was while you were dating, he probably didn't consider it cheating because you weren't going out. You have to remember nothing has changed, he made a mistake don't we all, i'm not saying you shouldn't be angry but you have been together along time do you want this small stupid thing to come between you. Nothing has changed but it seems to me you just want an excuse to dump him, because maybe your not happy with him. Is it the fact he kissed another girl or just you want to move on, either way you seem to have made up your mind.
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