A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I hope I'm not being incredibly naive about this but could this all just be a bunch of coincidences? My b/f just moved into his own apartment (Feb '07) and the people who lived there previously left some stuff there. He has friends over a lot and sometimes their girlfriends come too. I had bought him a notepad for the fridge for reminders and a girl wrote on it (you can tell the difference in handwriting). He said he didn't know who did it. I found a pair of earrings in the kitchen, he didn't know who those belonged to either. I tossed them and he didn't care about it. He bought a dresser from his boss. I was putting his clothes away and I couldn't close the bottom drawer all the way and found a sports bra and a pair of yoga pants and he said they must have been his boss's wifes. I tossed those too and he didn't care about that either. I found a bobby pin and eyeliner sharpener (the sharpener may have been there when he moved in and I didn't notice it but the bobby pin was in the middle of the floor) on the bathroom floor and he didn't know where that came from either. He said there were no girls in the house that day. Am I just over annalyzing everything? Obviously I want to believe him but I don't want to end up being the sucker in this story. Thank you all!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (14 April 2007):
 Sounds to me that there are too many coincidences but the fact that he doesn't seem to bother when you chuck stuff out does not sound like a guilty guy I must admit.
The points others have raised about the other woman wanting their stuff back is very true so I think it all depends on whether he is going to have this place as his own or not. The friends popping in all the time with gf's seems to be too much of a convenient get out clause.
I think you need to talk openly and try spending a bit more time there with him and see how often you get guests over to see how much of it rings true.
Yes watch change in behaviour and if he is blowing you out a lot and also check out how he reacts to mobile phone messages as well or email etc.
I think you are right to be wary but don't condemn until you have true facts OK.
Take care and wish you well.
BFN
Country Woman
A
female
reader, chirpychicken +, writes (13 April 2007):
 hun...im pretty sure something is going on. I know a cheating bloke when i see one (believe me I have been there!) and it sounds like he has something to hide. Have it out with him and if he lies anymore or pretends he doesnt know what your talking about then tell him you want a break until he gives you some respect and tells you the truth! if he is a decent person he will soon shit himself and come clean about whats going on.
Hope it works out let us know what happens!
take care
ccXXXX
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A
female
reader, ruth2203 +, writes (3 April 2007):
earrings are hard to loose an earring but not a pair? a hair pin in the middle of the floor now is a bit more supisicious you sure it is not your own ? maybe have a chat with him if you are going mad about it x
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 I think u are right something is obviously going on and the only thing left to do is drop him or investigate and find out anyway you'll get over it it doesn look easy to me dear, be prepared to drop him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): how long have you being going out with this young man not very long i suspect and already you have doubts in this relationship. now that you have sorted out his apartment you shouldnt find anything else in there. its easy to loose an earing or maybe buy something second hand and still have the other persons stuff in it the hair pin is a lttle harder to explain but he is either cheating on you and wants to be found out or not cheating at all men do one of 3 things 1 let you know that you aint the only one 2 lie and decive you and make out your the one who is nuts when you know he had a nite out with mates but why is there 2 wine glasses on the draing board 3 he is totally innocent. if your man reacted so cooly i think it maybe number 3 he is innocent most men would not want you to throw away the other persons stuff they need that so the other woman can grab it as they walk out the door in a morning if i were you i would keep an eye but i would not suspect too much all the same be a good partner and if you keep on having doubts about this relationship get out and walk another way
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): well it could be totally innocent but the bra and pants in the drawer sounds a bit dodgy, have you got any other reason to suspect dodgy messages on his mobile changes in his behaviour towards you, its the most awful feeling to find out youve been cheated on I hope you havent and alls well for you.
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